Saturday, April 30, 2011

Bad Karma

Previously, I wrote about the difficulties Grace was having at school with some girl drama. This got me thinking about my own college experience and I remembered that my roommate Joy and I, sharing a triple, had been less than kind to the third girl in the room. Her name was Kim and I can't remember now why she got on our nerves, but I do know that we didn't include her in our activities and probably made her feel uncomfortable being in her own room. I know, I know. That's totally unforgivable.
I messaged Joy on Facebook and she agreed that we were mean, but remembered that our third roommate had some strange rituals that we made fun of, like daily weigh ins while she was naked. Being naked in front of other girls makes girls uncomfortable.
Nevertheless, we were wrong to be rude.
The funny (?) thing about it was that I hadn't thought about this girl for years, until Grace began having friend issues at college.
I decided that the right thing to do was to find Kim on Facebook and send her an apology message. So I did.
I had to look a few minutes to find Kim instead of Kimberly, but when I saw the picture of her, I knew that it was her, my former roommate.
I sent her a message apologizing, saying that I had been rude and selfish, and explaining that our behavior was not justified. I sent the message off and made it clear that I didn't expect an answer but simply wanted to apologize.
The next day, my brother was visiting. He knew this former roommate, since he lived down the hall from me, and I wanted to show him that the girl looked exactly the same. I started searching for her on Facebook. I couldn't find her anywhere.
"She probably blocked you," he said.
I'm not saying that I didn't deserve to be blocked. I hadn't planned to contact her again so she didn't need to worry that I would start messaging her regularly or ask to be her friend on Facebook, but it kind of feels like I held out an olive branch and she swatted it out of my hand.
I suppose it's no less than I deserved because, although I haven't thought of her for years, she may have thought quite frequently about how mean we were. Maybe our behavior changed her life in a big way.
Hopefully, an apology is enough to clear the bad karma that I left behind for Grace. That's why she got to swing dance with the cute guy last night! See things have taken a turn for her.


Anne in Oxfordshire said...

You have done the right thing .. but she obviously is not that bothered .. she has blocked you .. so have nothing on your conscience .. you did what you thought you had to do. she obviously isn't grown up enough to accept your apology.

Anne in Oxfordshire said...

Hi Where are your husbands cousins from??

Paulita said...

Anne, They live in Marilleva northwest of Trento in the Alto-aldige.

Linda said...

I think I told you that my first college roommate was awful, just plain wacky. The second one proved to be a great life long friend. College life is certainly an interesting one. I would be so much better at it now but glad that's not going to happen.

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