Friday, September 18, 2009

Learning Lessons

While my husband was away for five days, I learned some important lessons about myself. Well, two.
1. I get to be the good parent because he flies off the handle.
When he was gone, I found myself becoming the yelling parent and I wondered if the only reason I am the calm, caring parent is because he yells so I don't have to.
On Tuesday night when Spencer stayed out until 10, I was the one who met him at the door with threats of grounding. It was a school night after all.
You already know how I handled the things with Grace (see post below).
I found one too many wet towels in Tucker's room and sentenced him to two full loads of laundry, washed, dried and folded, before he saw his friends again.
At that point, all of my kids were asking, "Why are you so mad?" "Why are you taking this out on me?" Good questions.
And, the moment my husband returned, he jumped right into the yelling role again, and I became the soother, trying to smooth things over.
The second lesson, I learned from my husband's trip:
2. You'll get a more joyful welcome home if you arrive at 4:30 p.m. rather than 4:30 a.m. And don't expect sex when you come home at that hour either.


Audubon Ron said...

I'm sure you're a good parent.

Paulita said...

Thanks for the vote of confidence. Actually, I am a pretty good parent (or was while they were young) but I've also taken that credit myself. Now I realize I may have used my husband as a foil to make myself better. Does that make sense?

Dianne said...

I've always been the enforcer, the yeller, the one who grounds, the one who makes the trains run on time. Ewww... When Bradbury dedicated one of his books to a middle daughter, I believe the inscription was "to ...who just told everyone to get out of the way." I'm ever that child. And yet, I think my husband has it tougher. He is the tier of shoes, the maker of lunches, the finder of all the things for tomorrow's project. He gets no glory, keeps everyone happy, makes all the real decisions and yet when our son wants to know for sure, the truth about something, or needs help making a hard choice, like giving up baseball to allow more time for study, he comes to me, not easy going Dad. And it's not because I'm smarter. Nope. It's because I'm louder. Sigh.

Avoiding Work said...

You probably benefited from your other half's approach but I doubt you made him do it ....

It's (excuse my expression) really "neat" that you saw how the whole dynamic changed and what part everyone played.

You always seem to be open to relooking at a situation and yourself - who could ask for more !

Cheers !

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