I was doing that yesterday morning. It was early, a time when I should still be sleeping when my eyes popped open. If I could manage to avoid letting thoughts take root, I could probably fall back to sleep. But my current worry was there waiting for me and, like a firework, it soared to the front of my brain ready to explode and drip slowly from the sky. As soon as I started to toss and turn, the younger cat moved from his place at my feet to nudge me with his head, to pounce on my hand if it moved beneath the blanket. I pushed him away and tried to return to sleep.
After a little while longer, I turned on my side and determined that I couldn't fix my current worry.
In my half sleepy state, I decided to let it go. A giant bluish white bubble floated away from me and the pestering cat. That was my worry floating away. I fell back to sleep.
Throughout the day though, I felt it coming back, and I reminded myself that I had let it go. Things would work out. That's hard though, for a control freak like me. I want to manipulate things until they fall into neat rows.
I pushed it away all day, but it was still there. I hadn't let it go, even as I tried to picture that bluish white bubble floating away each time.
A phone call from my mom early this morning as I stood in the coffee shop swept the worry away. I knew I shouldn't have held onto it.
How do you let go of worries when you don't have control?
3 comments:
All the time Paulita as soon as I get into that bed or am sitting idol...best thing to do is keep busy.
I'm not good at letting go of worry either. If I start thinking in the morning, it's all over, no sleep. Sometimes I have to go to sleep with the TV on at night so I don't start worrying.
Seems like each new worry is different. With loved ones, I try to say "I won't worry until I have reason to worry".
Other times I sit very still and try to just embrace all the things I'm afraid of, below the things that I'm worried about and slowly, slowly, slowly with breathing I get where I understand all will be well, no matter the outcome of that particular situation.
And still other times when it doesn't involve my loved ones, I can just simply tell myself, worrying doesn't help the situation a Lick!
Wow - I must be a worrier at heart.
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