12 Days of Appreciation -- Day 6

I'm halfway through my 12 Days of Appreciation countdown. I'm focusing on the reasons that I feel grateful for my husband. I'm not doing this because I think that we have some sort of superior marriage, but in an attempt to remember the important things in the midst of the day-to-day work of life.
Last night, my friend Najah came over. She's single and she gives relationship advice to my 23-year-old daughter. She started talking to Grace about the book The 5 Languages of Love.  Since I've been
married 25 years, it's not a book I'd heard of. The basics are that people need to figure out the main way the give and receive love, and how their partner gives and receives love. The five main ways the author describes are"Words of Affirmation, Quality Time, Receiving Gifts, Acts of Service, and Physical Touch."
As Najah explained them, I realized that my husband's pretty good at most of these (except the gifts which neither of us find important), but the main one I see is "Acts of Service." He'll come in from a day at work and ask if he can get me anything. That's crazy!
"Go relax," he'll tell me. "I'll unload the dishwasher."
And he is the main laundry washer in my house. He might have an ulterior motive since he thinks my laundry skills are inferior, but if he prefers to stay on top of the laundry in the house, I'm happy to accept it.
My husband has learned to steam the milk on the espresso maker so he can make me a latte even though he doesn't drink coffee. He shows me love through his acts of service every day.

12 Days of Appreciation

That famous song the 12 Days of Christmas celebrates the time from Christmas Day to Epiphany, so technically, according to the Catholic Church calendar, yesterday was the first day of Christmas and today is the second.
Over the next 12 days, I plan to focus on reasons that I appreciate my husband.
First, I don't want anyone to think that I have a perfect marriage. We've been married for 25 years, together for 27 years. We fight sometimes -- about serious stuff and trivial things. We get pissed off; we get annoyed. In spite of whatever daily irritant we might be feeling, I love this man for many reasons.
I'll start with two.
Christmas Day is easy to appreciate. We agreed to give each other one present for Christmas. We're always conscious of having to pay college bills. I needed a new coat, but my husband wanted to surprise me, so we went to the store and I chose three coats that I liked and let my husband pick from those three to surprise me under the tree. He picked a coat that "looked cute" on me and I loved it. In addition to the coat though, he bought a print of a painting set in Arles, France, and gave me that. He filled my stocking with moisturizer, chocolates and a book set in Paris, along with some warm socks.
And that's one thing I appreciate about my husband. He wants to make me happy and spends time thinking about how to do that.

My second day of appreciation also occurred yesterday, on Christmas Day.
After our celebration at home and an afternoon spent driving down to my brother's house for dinner and back, we decided to watch a movie. The boys both headed out to spend time with girls. My husband let me search for the movie Love Actually, which I couldn't find either to rent on demand or on Netflix. But we saw that Bridge Jones' Diary was available, and he said he'd be happy to watch it.
What? Seriously? Okay.
Grace joined us and we watched and laughed at the movie, which begins at Christmastime, so it was like a Christmas movie.

Not many men would happily watch a chick flick movie so he could laugh at the slap fight the British men engage in.
Both Day 1 and Day 2 are acts that I appreciate because he made my wants a priority. I don't think I'm as unselfish as he is, but maybe noticing the time and effort he puts into it will help make up for that.
I hope you are all having a lovely Christmas season and find something to appreciate as well.

Still Laughing

It's nice to know that, after nearly 25 years of marriage, I can still make my husband laugh.
But the joke began a few days ago. From within the house, I heard a repetitive whining  noise.
"What is that?" I asked Earl.
He walked to the back door and saw a squirrel perched on the edge of the porch calling out.
"Maybe he's mad that there's no bird food on the ground," I suggested.
"Too bad we don't have any thing to feed him," Earl said.
We pondered the squirrel food question for a few minutes before I remembered the peanuts in the cabinet.

Not my picture. But adorable. http://ellecasey.com/squirrel/

Earl opened the door and threw some peanuts underneath the bird feeder. The squirrel, of course, ran away, but eventually made his way back to the grass where he gathered salted peanuts.
After that, the squirrel was a regular feature under the bird feeder. I'd see him every time I went out the back door to the garage or on a walk.
Tuesday morning I was headed toward the garage with Earl on our way to work and the little squirrel looked up expectantly.
"Hey Squirrelfriend," I said, in that voice you would say "Hey, girlfriend!"
And it cracked up Earl. Every time I saw him for the rest of the day, he would shake his head and say, "Squirrelfriend."

Music During Special Moments

Tonight, I was watching the replay of The Daily Show with John Oliver. He and his guest were talking about important moments in their lives and the music that played during those moments.
I didn't expect that I would connect with specific songs and turning point moments, but two immediately jumped to mind.
The first was a huge crush I had on a guy from New Zealand. I met Mike when I went to interview him for a story in the local newspaper. Mike was riding his bike across part of the United States, and Ohio didn't get a lot of people from New Zealand at the time.
The sparks flew as soon as I sat down with him. We went on a few dates before it was time for him to move along. I offered him a ride down to Kentucky where I was going to visit my grandmother. We went boating with my cousin and explored the woods near my grandmother's house and swam in the lake. He asked me if there were alligators in the lake and I laughed at him since we were in Kentucky instead of Louisiana.
But I was leaving for grad school and he needed to continue his journey south. He decided to try to catch a ride down south rather than riding his bike. So the afternoon I was returning to Ohio, I dropped him at a truck stop. As I drove away, Phil Collins' song "Against All Odds" came on the radio. "How can I just let you walk away... How can you just walk away from me when all I can do is watch  you leave." I cried as a I drove away.

So that's the first moment that came to mind when I thought of important moments and music. Then I felt bad that I didn't immediately think of my husband, who, obviously turned out to be much more important than this hot guy from New Zealand.
That's when I remembered a Sunday afternoon the spring of 1988. Earl (who would become my husband), Mike and I decided to take my new Mustang convertible to visit a flea market. Afterward, we drove around in the hot Florida sunshine and heard, for the first time, the Bobby McFerrin song "Don't Worry, Be Happy."

Can you imagine how that felt, riding around with the man I would marry, feeling the sun on our skin, the wind in our hair and singing at the top of our lungs -- "Don't Worry, Be Happy"?
How bout you? Can you remember music playing at special moments in your life?

Father's Day

Today is Father's Day in the U.S.
Sure, it's a made-up holiday, but I'm especially grateful for the chance to celebrate today.
Four weeks ago tomorrow, my dad went to have his heart checked and the doctor sent him immediately to the hospital for surgery. He didn't want to do anything to risk the heart attack that he thought should have already occurred. Dad had a triple bypass and a new valve, and yesterday he and my mom arrived in Ohio, so I got to see them.
Other than the tracks of a scar up the middle of the chest, he seems like the same dad.
I filled out his father's day card this morning. It has a picture of a little girl's red sparkly shoe stepping on a man's shoe and it talks about memories.
To me, that shows our father-daughter relationship. He was big and safe. He'd take care of me.
Neither of us have been perfect in our roles, but here's what I signed on the card:

Dad, there has never been a moment in my life when I doubted that you would be there for me. I can't think of a better gift to give a child. 

So, I'm happy to celebrate father's day with my dad.
Of course, I also lucked out in the husband department. And, although he and I may not parent the same way all the time, we both have good relationships with each of our kids. He's a good father to them.
Happy father's day, Earl, and thanks for coming along on the journey with me.

Saturday Snapshot -- Me and My Hubby

To participate in the Saturday Snapshot meme post a photo that you (or a friend or family member) have taken then leave a direct link to your post on Alyce's blog At Home With Books. Photos can be old or new, and be of any subject as long as they are clean and appropriate for all eyes to see. How much detail you give in the caption is entirely up to you. Please don’t post random photos that you find online.

 My friends on Facebook were trying to convince me to change my profile picture to one from my birthday last week. 

Truthfully, I didn't like the picture very much. I'm not too fond of pictures of myself. I know, I should get over it.
How about this pic of my and my husband? I like it better, even though he's starting to make a goofy face, because he turned slow motion to kiss me.

See. Here's my romantic birthday kiss and you can see how fabulous my nails look because I got a manicure for my birthday.

Hope you are all having a merry first Saturday in March.