Sunday, July 30, 2017

Stress Continues

So, we're a week into selling the house, and I realized this morning, as I was standing in the shower, that I needed to soften my face. Relax! I chided myself.
I have to actually focus on it to stop that scrunched up feeling in the middle around my eyes, nose and mouth.
We had to vacate the house at 9 this morning for a showing, and there is another open house this afternoon. We practically can't live in our house.
Tybs has no problem relaxing in our staged house. White pillows, black cat -- perfect
Our real estate agent had talked up the hot market. She said we would probably be in contract before the first open house last Sunday. We aren't; thus, the scrunched up worry face. What's wrong with our house? Is our price too high? Can we pay off all our bills and buy a house in France at a lower price?
All of these questions constantly swirl around my brain, preventing me from enjoying the sun-kissed day and heavenly breeze.
I had a brief run Saturday morning before I had to teach, and I know that I need more of that - running time.
Meanwhile, Earl and I carried our laptops to Panera this morning and settled in for breakfast and some screen time.
We had talked about driving to my brother's house about 90 minutes away and staying through the open house. I know I would have enjoyed seeing him and my sister-in-law, but the thought of driving back home in the evening, more exhausted than ever, made us cancel that plan.
In addition to the carefully staged setting at home, we have some more turmoil coming our way. Tucker is moving out of his apartment to a new one, but he has to have his things out on Monday and can't move in until Tuesday. He's going to use our garage as the receptacle overnight for all of his belongings. He may or may not sleep at our house that one night of homelessness.
But Spencer, who has been living with Tucker for the past month, will be moving back home. I'm sure it's not what he wants, but until he has a steady job and a bit of money saved up, he'll have a place to sleep and plenty of food. I urged him to take his time and find a job he likes rather than jumping from sales job to sales job that he doesn't like.
He's delivering food for Panera where he will get immediate tips for his everyday needs while he continues to look for a job with a good salary and benefits.
Grace continues her job search. She's receiving unemployment, so she can take her time, as well.
It seems like we have very few stable supports in our family right now.
Yesterday while I was teaching, Tucker texted to ask where everyone was. He had dropped by the house to do laundry. Then when Earl got home after the morning showing, he said Spencer had shown up. I ordered pizza and picked it up on the way home, along with texting Grace that she should come over for pizza. She wanted to do laundry too.
Me taking a selfie with the pizzas, reminding the kids I was alone and hungry. 
When I got home, everyone but Earl had left. I texted the kids and soon they each pulled up and joined me on the patio for pizza and a rare family lunch as the breeze ruffled the umbrella over the table and the cats rubbed against the chair legs, not wanting pizza, but just some attention.
And for a moment, I looked up and remembered how lucky I am.
It's a little pale, but we did see a rainbow last week, which surely is a sign. 


Mystica said...

I hope you get your sale. Prayers coming your way!

Anonymous said...

Eventually things will settle down and everybody will find their place and you won't even remember the turmoil of this moment. But right now is now, and all I can say is Good Luck!

Paulita said...

Mystica, Thanks! All prayers and good thoughts gratefully embraced.
Francetaste, I know you're right. That's why I'd better write everything down so I remember how stressful it all way. Then, when someone needs my empathy, I can return to my documentation of how I freaked out.
Thanks to both of you.

Just Me said...

Beautifully written post PK. I'm right there with you every step, every thought, every heart beat and every smile.

Jeanie said...

Lucky indeed. And that face isn't the face of a woman who is too stressed. But I sure understand why you feel that way -- it wouldn't matter so much if there wasn't so much riding on the sale. That's stressful enough.

But I'm sure things will even out. We never know how, but just keep your focus. It will be fine.

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