Saturday, January 02, 2016

12 Days of Appreciation -- Day 9

Here I am on day 9 of reasons why I appreciate my husband. In case you have not been following along raptly (ha!), I find it helpful to remind myself how lucky I got 25 years ago when I married him. I'm not trying to say that I have a perfect marriage, only that marriage takes work and focusing on the positives instead of the negatives.
Another thing I appreciate about my husband is that he is much better at de-escalating fights than I am. I'm stubborn. I grab onto a point and won't let it go.
I reasonably know how to fight fair, to focus on I statements and explain how things make me feel, but my actions don't always follow the logical fight pattern.
Not every time, but many times when we are in the middle of an argument, my husband can pivot, concede a point, apologize for a specific thing that he did, let me know that he hears my point even if he doesn't agree. Any of those things can help to lessen the argument.
Here's my husband with one of the kids hanging onto him as they gaze out at Lake Huron.
I've learned lessons from him about arguing, not that I can always apply them, but I'm pretty sure my marriage wouldn't have lasted this long if he didn't know how to de-escalate.

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