Friday, September 16, 2011

New Drivers and Angry Moms

My 15-year-old son got his temporary driving permit on a Friday, and, unfortunately, my 17-year-old son totaled his car three days later on a Monday. Thus, the number of driving hours for the 15-year-old are limited. We only have one car right now, and who wants to risk that one car with a brand new driver. He's a good driver for someone with no experience, still, it feels pretty iffy.
Yesterday after school, after he informed me that he didn't like the stir fry I planned to make for dinner, he begged me to take him to buy a sub sandwich. Plus, he would drive.
Sometimes I'm vulnerable to these arguments. My boys never seem to find enough food in our house to fill their ravenous bellies and send sustenance to their quickly growing limbs. I agreed to go with him and pay. I sat passively in the passenger seat while he drove the few miles to the sub shop. I gave him a 10-dollar bill and sat listening to NPR while he went in to get his sandwich.
On the drive back, he was turning left and he over turned, a little too far and came close to a car that was waiting to turn left.
I sucked in air through my teeth and made that sound a person makes right before something bad is going to happen. I'm pretty sure it was barely audible from his seat.
"You oversteered back there. You need to straighten out the wheel sooner," I said.
"I know, Mom, but when you make that noise it makes me panic and then I'm going to crash," he said.
I hadn't raised my voice, but the sucking in of air would drive him to crash?
His words. His tone. The thought that I drove with him to the sub shop and paid for his sub while he complained about me breathing. They all pissed me off.
"Fine. I guess you should just drive with Dad instead of me," I declared.
"I guess I will," he replied.
And we didn't speak the rest of the night except after swim practice when he asked why I was so mad.
I told him I was tired of his rudeness, but then I kissed him goodnight and he said, "If you aren't so mad at me in the morning, will you wake me up early?"
I took the boys to get coffee before school this morning.
I drove.


Lucia said...

oh sometimes I wish I had more kids so I would know what it would be like to have a son....sigh

Paulita said...

Lucia, How on earth does that post make you want to have a son? I always said I wanted three daughters (which probably would have been a very different headache). Instead, I have one daughter, who I'm getting ready to go shopping with, and two sons who make me pull my hair out. Maybe they'll grow out of it though.

Linda said...

I've made that sound too-but usually with my husband and especially in a country where they drive on the left side of the road like Australia.

(Diane) Bibliophile By the Sea said...

That's why our hair turns gray around the time the kids become teens...LOL

Vicki said...

I had 2 sons and 1 daughter. Only my second son gave me no headaches. The other two, although not that bad, just pushed my buttons more. But I loved every minute of it and wish they still lived at home. Fortunately the "no headache" son still lives at home. My daughter only lives a few miles away and my other son lives about 20 min. away.

Just take lots of deep breaths (but make sure they can't hear you) and remember that before you know it they'll be out on their own.

Just Met said...

Interesting comment from Vickie reminds me of what I've heard .... I know right, roll your eyes... it's the teenagers that don't give you any problems that we need to worry about.

My parents were exhausted from my older sister and brother by the time I got to high school. I had free reign, no rules, no oversight, nothing.

But I was such a people pleaser. My only goal in life at that time was to not cause any problems and follow all the rules. In some ways it stunted my growth and I had to deal it in later years.

Paulita said...

Thanks to everyone for the reminders that this won't last. And, I know that the kids who don't go with the flow will make a difference as adults. It's just hard to remember that in the moment.
Just Me, I'm sure my kids will have so many issues to deal with. Hope they can turn out as good as you!

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