Wednesday, December 16, 2009

In the Grasp of the Green-Eyed Monster

When other people succeed, we should feel happy for them, I tell my kids. That doesn't diminish your chances for success, I say.
So I hate it when I find myself resenting someone who succeeded so easily at something I have been trying to achieve. That's exactly how I felt when I clicked on a blog yesterday. It's on a list of blogs that I read occasionally. The woman is already living my dream. American, living in France. She took the summer off blogging to focus on a "story" she wanted to write.
I remember thinking, "How cute" and "Wish it was that easy." I don't know if I've even looked at her blog since then, but yesterday I clicked on it and there was a copy of the story from Publisher's Weekly about her three-book deal. Young adult series. Zombies.
Okay, I don't know if I'll ever write a young adult novel and zombies don't really enter my vocabulary or my thought process, but I felt the bite of jealousy. Why was there a book deal for her?
I want to be happy for her. Terrific. That's awesome! Way to go!
Instead, I think, why not me?
At least the news lit a fire under me. "Remember that you were going to spend Christmas break writing, not running." Well, I'll just have to do both.
I'll be the Biggest Loser and the prolific writer all at once. If I don't finish this next one, which is going to be better than ever, I can never sell it and copy my own Publisher's Weekly article.
Congratulations, Amy. Hopefully, one day I'll join your circle.


Sheila said...

those green eyes are not attractive. :)

The book I was telling you about was We need to talk about Kevin by Shriver Lionel

Completely depressing subject but I liked the author interview at the end.

Paulita said...

Sure, rub it in. Another author who made it before me.

ME TOO said...

I'm constantly jealous of all the many things you do and all the many facets of your life and I'm also so very happy for you.

I say it out loud all the time to my friends, family, and even strangers - "Gosh I'm So Jealous".

I know I'll never read all the books I'd like to read, see all the movies I'd like to see, visit all the places I'd like to visit, say all the things I'd like to say....

so I'm jealous but mostly I've made peace with my human-ness, the human being I am.

Besides, I get to live vicarously thru the lives of my friends - so get cracking !!!

Steph said...

I think it's very typical of us to feel envious/resentful of other's accomplishments, and even more so when it comes to our kids, don't you think? We're happy for/jealous of at the same time. Crazy.

This might sound kind of "out there" but I view this as the "publishing vibes" getting closer to you. Just keep writing and pull those vibes right to you. Plus, your Biggest Loser workouts will stimulate your brain to write even more prolifically.

So, like ME TOO said..., "Get cracking!"

Suburban Kamikaze said...

A young adult zombie series? Who cares? There's a cat book deal being inked out there somewhere too. Not exactly your market.

Paulita said...

It doesn't matter what the deal is. The point is that she got a deal. I didn't get a deal. You didn't get a deal. We're deal-less. I could write about cats, cats with French accents.

BFF said...

I love you just the way you are (sickly sweet sentiment combined with schlocky 1980's lyrics, how could she not be sincere)

Linda said...

I often feel the same way. I keep waiting for someone to approach me after reading my blog like Petite Anglais or the Amateur Gourmet but it hasn't happened yet.

Suburban Kamikaze said...

You don't have a deal because you've chosen the market for literary fiction in a world in which 90 percent of the population would prefer a book about zombie cats. Even so, cats with French accents is not a bad idea...n'est ce pas?



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