Thursday, July 28, 2011

Cracks of Separation

On my way home today, I looked at the Starbucks coupon for a free cold drink and wondered which child should get the drink: Tucker or Grace.
The idea of buying it for Spencer never crossed my mind. After his initial grounding this summer where he spent a constant week with parents, a week grounded then a week without his car, he has made the most of his freedom. He is rarely home until curfew.
In three months, Spencer will be 18 -- a legal adult.
He is, and always has been, my most social kid. He goes to basketball three days a week, lifting weights with his basketball buddies. He works two or three nights each week, and the rest of the time he is hanging out. Eating at fast food restaurants, cruising, and socializing at the football field take the rest of his time.
Still, it shocked me a little that I hadn't even considered that he might be home, that I could buy him a Starbucks treat. I decided to call him and, if he was home, I'd get him a Frappucino.
"Hey, Mom," he answered.
"Are you home?" I asked.
"No, I'm at Joe T's," he said. "Chillin'"
Ah. No Frappucino for him.
"I was thinking we need to touch base. Get together. Talk about college visits and stuff," I said. "Maybe we could have lunch sometime."
"Yeah, well I already ate but okay."
Well, it was three o'clock, so most people had already eaten lunch.
"I was thinking Friday," I said. "We'll go someplace with wireless so we can search for colleges online."
"Okay," he said.

So now I have a date with my middle child, my oldest son.
I don't expect to have his attention for long.
I know, unlike his sister who would happily have stayed home rather than venturing off to college, he is counting the months until he finishes high school and tries his sea legs on a college campus, eager to see what he can do in a bigger pond.
I still catch glimpses of that little boy though, the one who danced to Riverdance and cried at the Tigger movie because Tigger didn't have a real family.


Anne in Oxfordshire said...

I know exactly how you feel. I have only seen my youngest son (age 27) once since the beginning of June.. He sorts of lives here .. but goes to see his children and his girlfriend , who live about 1 and a half hours away .. then he just decides to stay there. He used to be a home bird .. NOt anymore.

Lucia said...

Marina doesn't want to go to movies or hang out with us so when she went to the beach with me on Sunday and we laughed a the old men in speedos, let's just say that will be one of my best memories of this summer! She goes to highschool in September and I'm dreading it when I should be excited for her!

Stephanie said...

I wonder if it will be easier when he goes to college since he is so social and gone so much now?

I'm a wreck getting ready to send the next pair in line off to college in the next month (and having to pay for 3 in college at the same time). I'll be an emotional AND financial wreck.

Linda said...

Wait until they are in college or beyond. The only way I learn about my children these days except for an occasional phone call is on Facebook.

Sheila said...

ahh that made me a little sad. I have found that their sophomore year of college they start to come around a bit more.

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