Monday, September 04, 2017

Isolation

The thing that people frequently ask me about moving to France is how I'll be able to leave my family.
Grace and Tucker drove us to the airport in
May since I had to come straight from work. 
I have to admit that there are days when all three of my children make an appearance at my house, but most of the time, I have to satisfy myself with texts. Phone calls mean that something has gone wrong.
Yesterday, Grace called because she had locked her keys in her car. We didn't have a spare key, but we did have AAA, so I drove down to the Starbucks where she had stranded herself and called AAA. I sat there with her as she sipped her iced coffee with peppermint syrup (she offered to buy me one), until the AAA mechanic showed up and opened her door. Then she was off to rehearsal for the Pirates of Penzance.
Saturday night, we went to see her boyfriend's show Tecumseh. 
Today, Tucker called me. He was working, but he wondered if I could help him figure out how to report the charges on his Firestone credit card that he didn't make. When I got home from the gym, I investigated the bill and told him he needed to write a letter. I also suggested he file a police report, thinking that might get faster service. I'm happy to be here to answer my kids' questions.
Tucker in Earl's chair at the newspaper when he went to work
with one of the videographers. 
Spencer has been out of town since Saturday, so I only receive answers to my texts about when he might be coming home.

My boys celebrating Tucker's 21st birthday. 
That leads us to today, Labor Day. Now, Labor Day isn't a big family holiday, but it's the kind of holiday where families generally plan a cookout, maybe a last day at the pool or some community fireworks.
Earl had to work tonight, so we didn't plan anything, but I figured I might see the kids so I put a roast in the crockpot thinking I could do beef barbecue sandwiches.
Tucker didn't come over after work. Grace was going to come over to do some laundry but a friend stopped by and occupied her day. Spencer still hasn't come home from his weekend away.
Well, family isn't just our kids. We live in town near my husband's sister and brother. The brother and his wife don't like to hang out with the family very much, but the sister generally has a get together. This time, we heard nothing.
My brother is an hour and half away. We haven't seen him and his family since June. I texted to ask if they were doing anything today. Just playing tennis for him, lesson plans for his wife the teacher. My other brother is in Texas and my parents live 16 hours away in Florida, so we can't hang out with them.
So I wonder what people mean about how much I'll miss my family. Sometimes, I'm at home, alone, and I think, I miss my family now.
I want my children to be independent and I know they are going through a period where they don't want to hang out with their parents. I understand that.
But I don't think they get to claim that we should be here, waiting, just in case they decide they need us or want to hang out with us.
Someday when they have children, I know that it will be a different story. We'll definitely want to be here to help them and spend time with our future grandchildren, but until then, I'm putting away my guilt and I'm moving to France.

6 comments:

francetaste said...

Kids go away to college. You're going away to France. You'll move back, and by then your kids' social lives will have settled to the point where you'll actually get to see them. It's a good example to them, too, about following dreams and being organized so you can achieve those dreams.

sillygirl said...

Good for you - you have your priorities straight. You would regret not going ahead with your plans for yourselves. There were times in my past when I didn't do something where I forever wish I hadn't chosen to "sacrifice" myself for someone else.

Mystica said...

Glad for you.

Just Me said...

Love your posts about your family. You are devoted to your family. I'm so excited for you and in awe of you living out your dreams, every day. You've expressed your feelings about missing family, friends and your current life well.

Paulita said...

Francetaste, I was feeling pretty snarky when I wrote that post, but as Grace visited this afternoon (to do her laundry) she got teary as I told her about our travel plans. I know she's happy for us and a bit jealous, but she will miss us too.
Sillygirl, When you're a parent, it's pretty hard to put yourself first, but I'm working on it.
Just Me, Thanks for following along with my adventures. I'm so happy to have your support.

koi seo said...

It's a good example to them, too, about following dreams and being organized so you can achieve those dreams.


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