Catching Up With My Family

Now that everyone has heard enough about my husband (see previous 12 posts), its time to reassess what is going on with my family.

The holidays have luckily stretched out for us with college not starting again until tomorrow for Spencer. He'll head out into the snow to his university an hour and a half away. I've firmly told him that I want him to leave in time to drive in the daytime. The road is a nice 4-lane highway for most of the way, but once he gets to Athens, the hills and dips in the road might make things treacherous.
I'm trying not to get too excited, but Spence met a girl his first week home at an ugly Christmas sweater party and they've been dating since. She's his age and lives not too far away. She does go to another college, but we'll see how they balance this once they're both back at school. Generally, he dates a lot of different girls, but this one seems different. I've long suspected that a steady relationship would be good for him, so we'll see.
As for Tucker, my 19-year-old has once again decided not to go back to his college. Instead, he'll stay home and take classes at the nearby community college. He think he has a major he's interested in -- sports videography. So he's taking classes in videography with a sports management degree. I hope he stays excited about it. He could have continued at Ohio University with a degree in journalism, but I was paying $4000 for three classes, along with $2000 per semester for his apartment. I still have to pay for his apartment even though he isn't living there, but the cost for classes, 5 classes, will be less than $2000. Plus, he is already back working at his previous job as a delivery driver for Jimmy Johns. He's working five or six days a week.
The drawback of course is that 19-year-olds generally aren't that pleasant to live with. Hopefully, we'll all be busy enough that we don't trip over each other. And his long-time girlfriend, he's been dating her for a year and a half, which is nearly a 10 of his life, lives here in Columbus and has her own apartment. That should help too.
Grace continues to enjoy her job and has health benefits now, along with a free gym membership, paid vacation. She's thrilled about that. She's rehearsing for a show now How to Succeed in Business Without Even Trying, where she's in the ensemble, but it's a producer with good connections so she's trying to cement ties with him so he can help her find jobs in the future. She was asked to audition for a paid show, and she tries out tonight. She also sent in her resume for an independent movie that is shooting in Columbus and got asked to audition for that -- a female serial killer.
The more engaged my children are with their lives, they happier they seem, so I'm all for busy schedules as they spread their wings. She's also been dating one guy for nearly half a year. The drama in my house reduces greatly when everyone has a steady boyfriend or girlfriend.
The kitten which Earl rescued in November has finally gone to a new home. Tucker's girlfriend took him in. The other cats are starting to trust that the kitten is gone. They slowly start to sleep in the living room or bedrooms again rather than cowering in the basement.
The kitten, who is now called Thomas, had to visit on Friday. His apartment was being sprayed for bugs. The kitten remembered everything about living here, and, unfortunately, the cats remembered the kitten. Our house was full of hisses that day until he left.


I'm teaching five classes this semester, but one of the colleges where I teach doesn't begin until next week, so I still have more down time. Yay! Another of the colleges where I teach started last week, so I'm easing into my new schedule. I've been in a down period as far as writing goes, but I'm planning to buckle down this week and get Paris Runaway revised.
As for me and Earl, remember that things aren't perfect, but we enjoy spending time together and we have a countdown clock for our move to France: One year, 131 days and the hours count down.

Boys to Men

I'm not a very honest blogger.
I think I avoid writing about the topics that are hurtful. Instead, I attempt to be funny or divert to book plots.
That's why, right now, I have a blog post languishing that begins:

So, he moved out yesterday and left without kissing me goodbye.

Both of my boys have now moved into apartments, and they were very different departures.

Yes, you can still see his ribs. He never did put
on weight while living in the college dorms.

Spencer came home from college for about a week. He slept most of the days away, caught up with his friends in the evenings, and even found some time to scrape the garage so we can paint it.
He drove back to school on Sunday with his car filled with clothes and an air mattress so that he can camp out in his house until we take his furniture down on Saturday.
He texts me things like, "Can you bring down a spatula?" and "The mac and cheese seems really watery." So I had to tell him he should drain off the water before he added the cheese.

I drove down Thursday with his desk, and we hung curtains and took a trip to the grocery store to stock up on essentials.
Spence is far from perfect, but he's interested in talking about things. So I can tell him about my classes and students or have conversations about Grace and her adventures. And he shares a lot with me too.
He hasn't even complained about the flamingo and palm tree dishes I bought for him at the garage sales last weekend.
Earl and I are going back down today with a truckload of furniture so he'll have his real bed, a couch and a dresser.
The apartment is fine on the inside, but the outside looks like typical student apartments, kind of run down with steps crumbling and the porch overhang a bit rotten. It's the kind of place that parents would never approve of renting, but college students are a bit more eager. I'm sure it'll be fine for one year.
Spence has already texted the maintenance guy about a leak under the sink, a crack in a window and a slow draining bathtub.
He's still waiting to have internet installed. He called before he moved in and set up installation, but that internet company had some equipment challenges. So yesterday he called the other internet company. He's learning about the frustrations of dealing with utilities. I'm sure the experience will be an eye-opener for him.
So there was the peaceful transition of one boy to his first apartment.

Tucker moved out two weeks ago, on May 1.
I was gone to work and when I came home, a beat up pickup truck behind the garage was partially loaded with furniture.
He and his new roommate carried out mattresses and a desk and dresser then bags full of clothes. When we asked if he needed help, he said, "No."
And he left then, without kissing me goodbye.

Even through all the tense times we've had since Tucker returned home from college in December and lived at home throughout the winter and into spring, he has leaned over to let me plant a kiss on his bearded cheek most days, whether in the morning as he left for class or in the afternoon as he left for work, or even when he came home at night from time out with his friends.
19 is hard.
He thinks he's an adult, but he's still making adolescent mistakes.
We had said we wouldn't help pay for an apartment. He could live at home, or he could go to college and live in a dorm.

All three of my kids on Tucker's 19th birthday in March.

This spring, we agreed to let him move into an apartment with a friend in the hope it might help our relationship. We didn't seem to have conversations, but terse snapping one liners at each other.
He hated being home and having to answer questions like, "Did you go to class?"; "How are your grades?"; "What are you doing tonight?"
The questions might even be polite, like "how was your day?" but he bristled each time.
So after he left, I was heart broken that things were so bad between us.

But just two days before he left, I was in bed around 11, with my door closed to keep the cats from annoying me, as they like to do when I try to sleep. Suddenly, the door was pushed open and Tucker said, "Mom, will you come help me?"
I jumped up and went into the bathroom where he was leaning over a trash can throwing up.
He had a splitting pain in his head. He felt sure it was a brain tumor, as many of us do.
"I think it's a migraine," I said.
I got a cold cloth and put it on the back of his neck. I found the Excedrin migraine medicine and he was able to keep that down.
I settled him on the couch and sat next to him until he stopped sweating and seemed able to relax.
Then my husband took my spot and sat up until he fell asleep.

So even as Tucker brusquely moved out of our house, I remembered that just two nights before, he had turned to me when he needed me.
And my goal will be that he knows I'm here for him. That doesn't mean that I will bail him out of every situation or give him money, but I'll always love him, and he can move back home if he wants to.

The day after he moved out, he came back home and ate with us. On Sunday, he texted me and asked what time family dinner was. I hadn't actually been planning a family dinner, but since Grace was leaving for Europe and Spencer was home, it was an excellent idea.
I saw Tucker most days the week after he moved out. When I went to the grocery store, I bought an extra gallon of milk for him.
I offered him a box of Raisin Bran Crunch that hadn't been opened yet.
"No, that's okay. We only have one bowl," he said.
So during the neighborhood garage sales last week, I found Spencer's flamingo dishes and another set of dishes for Tucker's apartment for only $5.
Last week, he and his roommate drove to Colorado to stay for the week and bring a friend home from college.

Crystal Lake at Pike's Peak

We've had some heated exchanges about the amount of data he's using on his phone, but he also sent me some lovely scenic pictures.

Garden of the Gods

Our relationship still has many mountains ahead, up and downs, but I know he loves me, and I'll keep working to treat him like an adult -- an independent adult, and hopefully he'll move toward that title.

Also connecting with Saturday Snapshot today because there are some lovely photos in spite of the very long post.

Saturday Snapshot -- Class Selfie

Join West Metro Mommy for this weekly meme of photos people have taken and share on their blogs.
This semester, I had a small class of advanced composition. We started out with about 12 students, and they were a lackadaisical bunch, except for two very devoted girls who came every time.
Even though I constantly nagged them to work harder, we had a good time.
I raged at them one day that they might be a good class to hang out with, but I wouldn't want my pay based on their grades. (That's something they're talking about doing for elementary through high school teachers in Ohio. Their pay would be based on student performance.)
So on Friday they gave presentations based on the persuasive papers they wrote.
For some of them, it was like defending their doctoral thesis because the other students challenged their premises.
At the end of class, the students said, "Let's take a selfie!"
"I'll take a picture of all of you," I said.
"No, you have to be in it," Madelyn cried.
So we all lined up, and Dan, who is very tall with very long arms, snapped a selfie of us.
What a fun class and a fun memory.

We have one more class, but since they've finished their finals, we make take a field trip to Starbucks, which is within walking distance.

Saturday Snapshot - Family Day at Ohio University

We got to spend some time with our boys at their college this weekend. Don't get me wrong, they weren't hankering for us to come down, but we went anyway.

We didn't go to any of the organized activities. But we drove down Friday evening to have dinner with Spencer. His phone had stopped working so we weren't sure if he was anxious to see us or to get the new phone. 

We dropped him back at his dorm around 9:30 then met my brother and his wife at BW3 -- that's a sports bar chain. Their daughter attends the same university. We had drinks then headed back to the motel. All of the hotels were booked for miles around so my sister-in-law lucked into finding this place. It looked pretty rough on the outside but it was clean on the inside and was probably the bomb back in the 1970s. 

We feared it might be awkward sharing a hotel room with another couple, but it was a lot of fun as we lay in the dark remembering humorous memories about our childhood and as we raised our own kids. I think we need to plan a vacation with them - maybe separate hotel rooms though.

This morning we went to a coffee shop with a balcony. Both the boys were sleeping in, so we face-timed with Grace. 

We finally got some time with both boys at brunch, then we took them to the grocery to stock up. 

Just the right amount of time to reconnect with our sons.

Man, am I short compared to all my guys. 

Peaceful

Shhh.
Don't tell anyone, but I have a day to myself.
I have work to do, but I don't have to go to work.
I might spend the day writing or reading books or swinging in the hammock as the sunny day hovers around 75 degrees today.
The kids in the neighborhood started school today. They start early so the high schoolers can finish the semester at Christmas.

My guys have headed out to go white-water rafting. It was an effort for them to get out the door. Husband urging them to get out of bed, gathering sleeping bags, the right shoes, light-weight jackets for the rafting trip. A coffee run.
One last trip to the store for a can of gas to heat the cookstove. And finally.
The car pulled away.

The boys let our house cat roam free as they prepared for the trip, so I had to track him down before the car pulled away. I held him and stood by the garage. When the car started to move, he dug his claws into my collar bones. Just a reminder of why he isn't an outdoor cat. He's petrified by cars.
As they pulled away, I pushed the button to close the garage door. The cat's claws dug into my other collar bone.
Now, the house is serene, plus fairly clean. So I can relax and do nothing or everything.
I know what you all are thinking: after next week, when my boys have gone to college, I'll be longing for the noise and the bustle.
Maybe. But it might take a few weeks before I'm anxious for those boys who stay up late, sleep in late, use three towels a day, eat constantly, to return home.

Rounding Up All My Children

Finally, I'm very close to having all three of my children together.
I'm in Florida with my two oldest, Grace and Spencer. Grace finished with college for the year on Tuesday, moved her things home, and we left the next morning to drive to Florida.

It was a very long drive, or maybe it just felt that way because I am getting old. I usually drive the whole way myself but on the last stretch of the trip, I let Grace take over.
Part of what made the trip long, was that we stopped at a park in Charlotte, North Carolina. Our route goes by Charlotte and I had heard about a pretty park there from Jackie McGuiness at Junkboat Travels.
Driving into Charlotte, Grace and I were both struck by how much it felt like our hometown Columbus, Ohio. It's a small, bustling downtown area, which, we noticed, is called "uptown" not downtown.
Charlotte is one of the cities that Grace is considering after she graduates from college. She put it on the top of her list after our stop at The Green.

The Green is a bookish park with author's names as mile markers and stacks of books as statues. We loved it.

 

We got to my parents' house on Wednesday night.

On Thursday, I drove over to St. Petersburg to pick up Spencer from college. I hadn't seen him since Jan. 3 when I dropped him off at school. I've talked to him on the phone and texted plenty, but there's nothing like hugging your kid. 

We loaded up all of his belongings, filling a trash bag full of his big basketball shoes and tying his bicycle onto the top of the car since I forgot the bike carrier. 

It's been a tough year for Spencer in many ways, but he's healthy and he persevered. And I still owe you all the "mafia" story. I promise I'll tell it someday soon.

Now Grace, Spencer and I are at my parents house for a few more days until we drive back to Ohio.

Meanwhile at home, Tucker finished his last day of high school.

Every year at our school, the parents and underclassmen line up for the seniors to walk between us on the last day. They go to the football field across the street and after a few speeches from the students, they release balloons (biodegradable) into the air.

I have missed this ceremony for both of my boys, but Earl has gone both times and took pictures. My friend Betsy also took some pictures of Tucker for me.

Tucker had an AP (Advanced Placement) test on Wednesday afternoon, so he didn't think he'd get to walk with the seniors. He really wanted to be a part of it though. He asked whether he could skip the exam.

The exam can be important because students can earn college credit. They take an advanced class all year and the official AP Exam is what earns them college credit. It doesn't affect their actual classroom grade. 

To me, the college credit seemed more important than a few minutes on the football field, but maybe I wasn't thinking enough about the emotion of it all. 

He ended up taking the test and still getting out in time to walk with his friends.

Here's a picture Betsy sent me that I love. I can picture him hurrying out of the test to join his classmates, afraid he'd be late, but no, there they were. He's smiling to himself with an array of friends behind him.

In a few more days, we'll all be home together preparing for a weekend of graduation and celebration. 

Grace moves out in June, but until then, I'll have all my children together for a little while longer. 

Spring Breaks

I am on the cusp of spring breaks for my kids. Grace's spring break is wrapping up while Spencer and Tucker are both beginning their spring breaks.
Grace's spring break has been fairly laid back. She went to a local Irish bar to celebrate St. Patrick's Day.
She tried out for a spring production, The Graduate, and got the part of Elaine -- that's Mrs. Robinson's daughter for anyone who doesn't remember. And Benjamin falls in love with Elaine after having the affair with Mrs. Robinson. I think she'll do a great job.
We ate lots of yummy meals, like breakfasts of chocolate croissants or croissants, and goat cheese pasta, and we cracked open a bottle of dessert wine to go with some chocolate lava cakes. Yum.
We also did some babysitting for Grant, Earl's niece's son.

Look at the belly on that little guy! He's 14 months old and almost always in a good mood.
I love spending time with Grace and hate to see her going back to school, but I know that's what happens with kids grow up.
Spencer goes to college in Florida, so I could hardly hope for him to come back to cold Ohio. Instead, he went to Miami. He is staying at a friend's parents' condo on Miami Beach.
I texted him yesterday asking, "How is Miami?"
Here's the picture he responded with:

I haven't seen Spencer since January. I miss see him.

This morning, Tucker and I are leaving on a road trip. One more college visit before he has to decide.

Maybe -- but doubtful -- I'll get a picture of me and Tucker on our road trip. That boy avoids the camera. I tell him he'll regret it someday.

So we're driving 9 hours to Missouri. Hope he likes the campus. I'd love for him to fall in love with a college and be passionate about going there.

Here's a photo from his birthday.

Hope you all get a chance to relax and enjoy some decent weather this spring. At our destination, they're predicting snow.

Scattered

I've had four, very brief phone conversations with my 20-year-old son today, each one ending abruptly.
He's just a little frenetic. I don't think a lot of planning goes into his life. And I'm trying not to be a helicopter mom, but rather a safety-net mom, there to catch him before he leaps from a dangerous place.
They started a new semester at college yesterday and after his accounting class, he told me that the book is $300. That includes access to the online portion with quizzes, so we can't buy the used book.
I knew, but he didn't, that we had some credit with the school from financial aid. So this morning, I got online and ordered books for his class. It requires some back and forth between his schedule and the bookstore, but I finally managed to order books for three of his classes and the cost was $550. I clicked on financial aid for the payment then text messaged him at 8 a.m. before I left for work.
Around noon, I called him to see if he'd gotten my text message.
"No, what?" he asked.
I told him he could pick up the books at the bookstore.
"Okay, but I'm getting ready to go to lunch so I'll check after lunch."
And with that he was gone.

Here's Spence at his dorm after being sick all day,
but I was leaving him and wanted a picture

A little while later, he called and said the guy at the bookstore said Spencer needed to approve financial aid to pay for his books. I tried to talk to him about the meal plan too, but he said, "I gotta go, I'm gonna give blood right now."
"Donating blood, right?" I asked.
"What the f-- other kind of giving blood is there?" he asked.
"Language," I warned.
"Oh, sorry." I could hear his buddies around him laughing.
"Sometimes people sell their blood," I explained, remembering my college roommate who went every week to sell her plasma for the cigarette money.
"No, I'm just donating," he said.
"Okay, I'll call financial aid and make sure you can get the books," I told him as his voice faded from the phone.
I called the college and got everything straightened out.
It had been about 45 minutes since I talked to Spencer, so I thought he might be finished donating blood. I called him.
"Mom, I'm right in the middle of giving blood."
"Okay, I thought you might be finished. Call me back so I can tell you what you need to do."
In a little while, the phone rang.
"I've only got one percent left on my phone so make it quick," he said.
That's when I just became exhausted with these bursts of conversation followed by some sort of activity.
"Pick up the books tomorrow and call me when you can talk for more than five minutes," I said.
My head just reels from the various directions he is headed in, like a fly buzzing around the room, zipping here, zipping there.
Two and a half more years for him to get through college, hopefully. Maybe he'll be a little more focused by then.

Son Departure

Those of you who follow me on Facebook or who read my blog yesterday know that I'm in Florida, but what you don't know if that this trip almost didn't happen.

Spencer and I had plane tickets to fly from Ohio to Florida on Saturday morning.

At 5:50 a.m., I received a text from Spencer that he was throwing up. Doesn't matter if you 5 or 20, apparently you still want your mom when you're sick. 

I trundled down the stairs with a glass of water and tucked him back into bed, hoping that it was just a fluke, a one-time thing. But less than an hour later I heard him throwing up again. He continued to throw up all morning as the clock ticked toward time for us to leave for the airport.

We were flying on a small airline that only has two flights per week from Columbus to Florida. If we didn't make the Saturday plane, he couldn't get back to school by the time classes started on Monday.

Earl suggested we should simply drive down to Florida on Sunday when Spencer was better. So I resigned myself. Then Spencer rallied and we journeyed to the airport. 

By this time, Spencer's stomach issues had migrated south as well. 

As we climbed on the plane, I asked the flight attendant if we could sit in the back row by the bathrooms. She doubled up some trash bags and handed them to Spencer.

The flight took less than two hours and when the fasten seat belt lights were off, Spence mostly stayed in the bathroom. 

The plane coming in to land over Tampa Bay and the Bayside Bridge that stretches from Clearwater to Tampa

We landed and Spencer lay day on a concrete bench in front of the airport while I went in search of our rental car. Poor guy. Even at 6-foot, 4-inches, he's my baby. I felt so bad for him.

As we drove the 10-miles from the airport to his college, he clutched the plastic bags and heaved into them. When we got into his room, he promptly climbed into bed. I went shopping for groceries and made a couple of trips from the car to his room. I broke my New Year resolution by using plastic grocery bags. I just didn't plan ahead and bring bags with me for shopping in Florida. I even looked at the Walmart for cloth bags to buy, but no luck. (I usually avoid Walmart but make an exception only when dropping kids at college.) Hopefully, Spencer will feel like eating some of those groceries again soon.

I felt bad leaving him there in bed. His head felt warm, like he maybe had a fever, but he said he was feeling better and just needed sleep. Hope he got some.The last time I went to the dorm and had to force him to open the door for me, I snapped this picture of him. I told  him, open your eyes, so he did, and then he stumbled back to bed. I, however, drove to my parents house and am basking in the sun now.

Here are a couple of photos from my morning run. Hope you all have something equally inspiring in your days today. 

Leaving Behind His Teens

This week, my oldest son, my second child, turns 20.
I won't get to be with him, so that makes me a little sad, but luckily his father has flown down to Florida so they'll get to spend some time together for his birthday.

From the minute Spencer arrived, two weeks early, he has been curious. As a toddler, as a kid, as a teenager. I hope he never loses that.
Recalling Spencer as a little guy, I can hear the echo of his footsteps as he made the early morning dash from his bedroom, across the wood-floor landing toward our bed before he dived in between me and Earl. We teased him when he was little that he should wear the box instead of the shoe because his feet were so square, as wide as they were long.
Thud, thud, thud, his feet would race across the landing.
When he was very young, Earl started a thing with him. If Spencer pressed Earl's nose, Earl would beep.
One morning early, Spencer pressed on Earl's nose. Earl was too tired to respond. Spencer pressed again. Still nothing.
"Hmmm," Spencer said. "Must need new batteries."

Spencer and his Gran.

He loved castles and knights, plus swords and armor. He wanted to fight dragons and bad guys.
He's always loved sports and grew from a chunky little boy to a wiry school kid (even though he homeschooled). He practiced basketball until he injured the growth plate in his elbow. He played quarterback in 6th grade football because he was the only one who could memorize the plays.
He decided he wanted to go to real school in eighth grade, so we moved to a small town where we could enroll the kids. Grace started school then too, and Tucker followed six months later.

He's always loved being with friends, more than my other kids. Even the pictures of him as a little boy show him with an arm thrown around another guy's shoulders.
Even today, his buddies come first.

He had some tough times trying to figure out who he is and what he stands for as a teenager, but as he turns 20, I hope he's more sure about himself and his abilities.

He knows he loves nature and plans a career as an environmental scientist. He takes a kayak out on Tampa Bay and paddles to islands covered by mangroves before leaning back and sleeping in the sunshine.
So he's far away in the sunshine this weekend, taking a couple of days to spend with his dad and his grandparents (my parents), doing his laundry and eating homemade meals (steak was his first request). Also helping to paint their house because he remains a generous guy who doesn't mind helping out, even on his birthday.
Happy birthday, Spencer.
I can't wait to see what you accomplish in the next 20 years.

Saturday Snapshot -- College Paradise

To participate in the Saturday Snapshot meme, post a photo that you (or a friend of family member) have taken. Then leave a direct link to your post on West Metro Mommy. Photos can be old or new, and be of any subject as long as they are clean and appropriate for all eyes to see. How much detail you give in the caption is entirely up to you. Please don't post random photos that you find online.
I keep saying that my life is going to slow down and I'm going to have more time to devote to blogging. That's not happening so far, but maybe soon since my second son is safely delivered to college in Florida.
Here's a picture of the two of us sitting on the deck of The Hurricane restaurant on St. Petersburg Beach. It's become a tradition now for us to have lunch at The Hurricane before dropping him off for a year on his own.

Even though he towers a foot taller than me, I still feel that twang in my belly when we drive away from campus knowing I won't see him again for at least three months.

New College, New Fears

My week has only gotten busier with the start of a new semester and the end of another one. But I wanted to post briefly about Grace's departure to a new college.
Grace has a hard time with change. She always has. And it doesn't matter that she can take along her favorite things, she still hates it at the beginning. So we just have to persevere until she gets to a comfortable place.
The good news is, her new college is only about 20 minutes away. Her old college, if you'll recall, was 10 hours away. To mean, 20 minutes seems much less dire, but for a girl who hates change, she feels the despair that she will never sleep in her own bed again.
We moved her in Wednesday morning with stops for coffee and for her paycheck and at the bank to deposit her paycheck. Earl drove a little pickup truck with Grace's belongings -- small refrigerator, bicycle, bins with clothes --and met us at the dorm.
In her dorm room, third floor, the bed was lofted so the desk and dresser could fit underneath. Grace wanted the bed lowered so Earl wrestled with that. We were all sweating in the tiny heat box of a room.
And then, as sheets were put on the bed and clothes folded into drawers, I had to leave because a new semester of classes began Wednesday, and I had to teach at 12:30. So I gave Grace a hug and kiss then I left to get to class.
I feel so fortunate that she is close enough that I could help drop her off before I had to scoot away.
And, this is very strange, I didn't get any pictures of Grace's room or Grace. I also didn't get any pictures of the three kids together during our family night.
I asked Grace to send a photo and she sent this picture or her room. We forgot to take her posters, obviously.
I replied that I wanted a picture of her, so here's her self portrait.

I guess the jury is still out on this new college. 

Busy End of Summer

I've fallen off the blogging wagon here toward the end of summer. Getting kids ready to go back to college, preparing four new classes for the fall, and sheer laziness have overtaken me.
I spent all day Saturday revising an online class.
Today, I'm creating a new online class. No rush. The semester doesn't start until Wednesday!
I always debate the teaching banner I use at this time of year now that the semester is 16 weeks long. Do I use one for winter or do I use one that fits the warm weather we have now.

Maybe I need to create one for the autumn, or ask the teaching tech support team to do it.

I have two more weeks of a class that is driving me crazy. It is a developmental English class, which means the students aren't quite ready for college English. This class is three different levels all in one. Some of the students are pretty good at writing and reading, while others can't really write a complete sentence. I know I didn't make the situation, but I feel like I've been fairly incompetent at the whole thing. Three levels in one class do not work -- at least for me.

Earl and me posing with Grace
after her last performance of Emma. 

Grace has been sick for about three weeks, since she performed in Emma. We kept thinking she had allergies and urged her to take a daily allergy medicine. Finally this week, she went to the doctor and learned she had bronchitis.
Ooops. Bad parenting moment.
She leaves on Wednesday for college, but we don't have to drive 10 hours to get there since she is going to school closer to home this year. I'm excited for her and she's a little nervous about joining a new environment.

I hardly have any photos of Spencer.
Here he is waiting for the doctor this week.

Spencer has a few more weeks yet. Earl will drive him to Florida at the end of the month, still we've been doing the necessary doctor appointments, back to school shopping, book purchasing for him too.
Last Sunday we got as close as we'll get to a vacation this summer with a drive down to my cousin's house in Kentucky. We grilled out and hung by the pool enjoying their company.

My boys enjoying the pool before they went hiking into the woods.

So as my family and I prepare for school or moving to far away dorms, I wanted to leave you with this shot of Grace. I think it's an analogy for the way I feel at the end of a summer.

Grace, in the midst of her summer of working plus performing in two plays,
collapses on the grass in hope the cat will join her. 

Hope the end of your summer goes smoothly.

Grumpitude

You ever have those weeks where you're just grumpy with people?
I may be having one of those months... or years.
Maybe I could blame it on impending menopause. I hear that makes women grumpy. But I don't want to cop out. Even if I have raging hormones, I'm going to be responsible for my actions -- emails and telephone calls.
I could blame it on the college bills. If you don't live in the United States, you may not be aware of the cost of college. For most state schools, the bill is around $20,000 per year if a kid lives on campus.
My kids both go to private schools, but they provide grants and financial aid to get the cost down to about $20,000 each. That means $40,000 per year with two kids in school. That is bound to make anyone grumpy, right?

I was pretty grumpy here, but because I  needed
chocolate, not because of menopause or college bills.

Actually, being grumpy has helped some.
I appealed to one of the kids' colleges for more financial aid and the director responded that we should see how much we could get in parent loans first. I didn't even think about it so that I could write a measured response to her. I just fired back that of course, we could take out thousands of dollars in parent loans, but we weren't really willing to do that, and then I threatened that we really hoped our kid could continue to attend her college.
I didn't hear from her for 6 days and I felt pretty sheepish about my snippy (bitchy?) attitude.
Today, she emailed that we had an extra $1500 grant. See, $1500 for a college isn't that much. $1500 for us off a kid's college bill is huge.
So I got serious about our budget and looked for places to cut monthly costs. I decided we are spending too much on internet and cable TV services. I hate to change my email address, so I called Time Warner to see how much it would cost for Internet only. I hoped they might give us a better deal on internet and TV so I wouldn't have to deal with changing it. But I got sidetracked by a woman who said I couldn't change my service because I was in a contract with Time Warner.
"Wait!" I said. "My contract ended in March."
"But we sent you a letter and if you didn't reply then you entered into another contract," the woman said.
"I'm pretty sure that's not a binding contract," I said. "You can't have the opt-out or you enter a new contract."
And that was pretty much the end of me getting anything accomplished. I asked for a manager. I was shuffled from place to place. I made a complaint with the Ohio Attorney General's office to make sure others didn't get caught in the non opt-out contract.
But I never got my internet and cable TV bill lowered. I kind of backed myself into a corner where all I can do now is switch everything to another company.
Again, by the end of the day, I felt kind of bitchy.
Yesterday, before the humidity got too bad, I ran 6 miles. That helped me blow off some steam. Today, I only went 3 miles.
So far today, I haven't been mean to anyone, but I still have to go teach tonight. I'll try to shove the grump monster back in its place.

Saturday Snapshot -- Prodigal Returns

To participate in the Saturday Snapshot meme post a photo that you (or a friend or family member) have taken then leave a direct link to your post on Alyce's blog At Home With Books. Photos can be old or new, and be of any subject as long as they are clean and appropriate for all eyes to see. How much detail you give in the caption is entirely up to you. Please don’t post random photos that you find online.
Last night, around 10 p.m., the back door opened and my college freshman, now officially a college sophomore, returned home. 
The tiredness after a 16-hour drive didn't take away his joy at coming home. And his extra skinny frame (he's lost 13 pounds this year) and his need for a haircut didn't reduce the thrill I felt at giving him a squeeze once again. 

The cat was too busy posing for the photo to show his happiness.

So now my little house is crowded once again and it may be a very long summer, but, for now, I'm thrilled to have all three of my kids home again. 

Grace's Dilemma -- Hollywood or New York?

One of my friends (Phyllis) complained that I never blog anymore -- not about the interesting stuff like embarrassing situations or my kids getting into trouble, etc... All I ever write about is books and book reviews and France. Of course, I am obsessed with books and France, but my kids are still a major part of my life. So here's a blog about one of my kids...
In January, Grace stayed home rather than going back to her college in far away New York. I want her to finish college, but having her home was so nice. She took classes at the local community college -- theater, ballet, communications, nothing too strenuous. She got a job at a local French restaurant and has learned that she gets bigger tips if she speaks English with a French accent. The tight black skirt also improves tips. She performed in the chorus of a local community theater production.
As April bloomed, it was time to find another college where she could attend and finish. She applied to four colleges and was accepted at all of them. We visited Ohio State where she could continue with her French and languages major. The campus and the program just didn't win her over.
She and I together visited one of the campuses about 15 minutes from home. As we walked onto campus, I commented that it reminded me a lot of her college in New York. She agreed.
"Why didn't we look here?" she asked.
Mostly, cause they don't have a swim team and at the time, Grace was planning to swim in college.
Grace, now 21, has decided to change her major to theater. That has been a big struggle for me -- not that I have that much say in it. But I think majoring in theater is like sowing dandelions in your green lawn. It's going to be a lot of work for something you may or may not succeed at. I have no idea whether Grace is a good actress. I have no idea whether she can succeed on Broadway or in Hollywood. But who am I to say don't go for your dreams?
I always wanted to be a writer, but  I can write after the bloom of youth has faded. For actors, youth is pretty much a necessity. So I gave Grace my blessing to major in theater but asked her to pick another major too, like communications. She agreed.
 My cousin, who was a successful actor, appearing in movies like Oh Brother Where Art Thou, and  television shows like Seinfeld and Malcolm in the Middle, cautioned that having a back up means that you won't throw your heart into acting.
I didn't change my mind about the double major though.
So as we toured the campus, they said the tour didn't include the Communications building which was a little way down the road. We said we'd like to see the building and they called ahead to alert the secretary we were coming.
The secretary took one look at Grace, 5-foot, 10-inches before her platform pumps, an insouciant scarf draped around her neck, her brown hair falling in a curtain down her back, and said, "Oh, I see you're here for Broadcast."
Grace and I both looked at each other.
Grace said afterwards that she felt like saying, "Well, I am now."
The chair of the department came out into the hallway to talk to Grace and was explaining some classes then said, "But that's really for the writing side of things, not Broadcast."
"Grace is a pretty good writer too," I threw in there. After all, Earl and I are both writers and pride ourselves on the fact that we may not have passed along math skills but our kids can write.
Then as we continued on the tour, one of the broadcast professors came into the hallway to meet us.
"I'll take over from here," he told the secretary. "I can see she's here for broadcast."
After we walked out of the building, we looked at each other and said, "Why didn't we ever think about this before?"
Theater and broadcast journalism seem like a perfect match. Grace will have to learn how to operate the cameras, to edit, to direct, to read the news, to covers sports and other stories. Hopefully she can find a fabulous internship in New York City that allows her to work on news during the day and try out for shows in the evening. The auditions alone would be hugely helpful.
So now Grace is registered to attend a new college only 15 minutes away and even closer to her work. She's still debating whether she'll live on campus or get an apartment for the school year. She's taking some more classes at the community college this summer, and I'm praying she can finish by the end of next summer, but in the fall of 2014, I'll have another kid headed off to college.

Saturday Snapshot

To participate in the Saturday Snapshot meme post a photo that you (or a friend or family member) have taken then leave a direct link to your post on Alyce's blog At Home With Books. Photos can be old or new, and be of any subject as long as they are clean and appropriate for all eyes to see. How much detail you give in the caption is entirely up to you. Please don’t post random photos that you find online.
Some bizarre things happen at the college where I teach.
Earlier this week a man who had been stabbed took a bus to the college and collapsed in the bathroom. They had to close the building where my classes are while they cleaned up blood.
Friday, as I went through the line at the cafeteria, the cashier was dressed in a bunny suit for Easter.

Hope you all have a relaxing weekend even if you meet a bunny over 5-feet tall. 

Happy Easter if you celebrate.

My Hiatus With Grace

I haven't updated everyone on my daughter Grace. If you read my blog, you know that I'm crazy about my daughter. She just turned 21 and she's a junior in college. Last year she traveled to France for three months and made huge leaps in language and independence.
Grace started college in the fall of 2010 at St. Lawrence University, up by the St. Lawrence seaway in New York -- 10 hours from home. Some parts of St. Lawrence she loved; some parts were rough. Last fall, as she struggled, not with classes, but with little sleep, not eating correctly, sorority rush, and sorority house living, it became clear that she was not thriving in this environment.
She would call me in tears more days than not.
We began to struggle with the idea of having her transfer to a college closer to home, and when she came home for Christmas break, she stayed.

She's taking classes now at the college where I teach and planning where she'll finish college, someplace within an hour of home. She just finished acting in a community theater musical and she did the makeup for the college performance. She has a job at a French restaurant and still goes salsa dancing on Friday nights. She's dating a guy she met at salsa, and flirting with a guy from acting class. Other than her own place and her own car, she's living a pretty typical college life.
And I just want to say, even though this hiatus can't last forever, I'm loving it.
We've watched The Bachelor together and now we've started watching The Amazing Race. She comes to campus with me and hangs out between classes. We go to youtube and laugh at the songs which incorporate the screaming goats that sound like humans.
She rolls her eyes with me when my teenage son is surly or rude.
She's the one I want to tell first when something exciting happens with my book or the one I turn to when I want to complain about work.

I know Grace will go on to have her own, separate, exciting life, but I'm so glad for this brief reprieve that I get to share with her.