The End of the Year in the States -- 2018

My first year abroad ended with me in the States.

Florida

We flew to Florida on October 30 in time for my dad's surgery. For six months, he had been dealing with a sore on his foot that would not heal and they found infection in the bone. We feared that he might lose his foot. I couldn't imagine how depressed he must be, sitting in the house and going to doctor visits rather than playing golf four times a week. Mom seemed a bit overwhelmed too, giving him IV antibiotic treatments three times a day.

Within 24 hours of arriving home, Mom had instructed me on how to give the antibiotics. That left her schedule a bit more free. Then Dad had surgery to open arteries in his lower leg to help improve the blood flow. We hoped the surgery would lead to the wound healing.
After a week in Florida, we drove up to Ohio to see the kids and some friends.

 We helped Spencer choose a used car to replace the one that was totaled in the accident. With a car, he could get a job with more consistent pay rather than working on lawns with his roommate. After about 10 days of juggling paperwork in Ohio, we returned to Florida.
Returning didn't seem like a big culture shock. It felt like I'd never left, except that my favorite drink at Starbucks was too sweet now.
The kids were thrilled to see us, but they quickly returned to their own lives.
So we came back to Florida to keep Dad company as he continued to heal. We puttered around like real retirees for about a month, getting ready for Christmas, and the week before Christmas, Dad played about 15 holes of golf with Earl. He was nearly healed.
We lucked into a housesit in Columbus from December 20 to January 7, so we had our own place while we visited Columbus. Spencer and Tucker came to spend the night on Christmas Eve, and we gathered for  a New Year's meal and to watch the Ohio State bowl game. I loved being together again.
But I realized that the kids might wish I was there so they could drop by whenever they wanted, but they weren't going to change their lives and their schedules to fit me in. They all had their own interests and busy schedules.
So on January 6, we had a family meal together, celebrating Grace's birthday 3 weeks early, and I kissed them all goodbye.

One family photo

Celebrating Grace's birthday with Tucker, Spencer and her boyfriend Jack. 

Ouch. That hurts every time.
I knew I would see Tucker again because he flew down to Florida for a long weekend with my parents. And he was here on Monday, less than a week ago, when the doctor declared my dad cleared from treatment. His foot was healed.
We toasted with champagne.
And Tucker played two rounds of golf with Dad that weekend.

Dad back on the golf course

Tucker on the golf course

Monday evening, we drove Tucker to the airport. It felt like my entire body was slouching, every organ joining in with a downward motion as I realized that I was leaving my youngest, and all of them, behind again.
I worried that I might have already broken our relationship by selling their childhood home and moving to France.
Our goodbye at the airport was punctuated by kisses and hugs, and one more hug and a last, desperate look into his eyes so that I could convey how much he means, whether I'm there or not, and we drove back to Mom and Dad's as I felt my organs twisted tighter and tighter like a wet towel being rung out.

One last photo before he returned to Ohio. Me, crying on the inside

Being in France, being away, I'm caught up in the adventure of it all. The leaving part though, that's hard -- every time.
And tomorrow, we say goodbye to Mom and Dad as we drive to the Orlando airport to fly to Paris. But we are so happy that we were here, for the longest stay that I've had since I moved away from home after college.
And Dad is well. They are both healthy.
Sure, we'll be far away, but they know that we can get on a plane and be here in just a little over the amount of time it used to take to drive from Ohio to Florida.
And somewhere over the Atlantic Ocean, I'll shrug off the sadness of leaving people behind and start looking toward the sunrise as we arrive in France.

Tehcnically, a sunset, but you get the idea. 

Election Day

Tuesday is election day here in the United States.
In spite of all the talk you hear about the presidential primaries, those elections are not until March.
The election in November is about local and state issues.
Our school board and city council have several seats open. The zoo has a levy and the mental health board does too -- both things that I'll support.
A lot of people think only the big elections matter, but the small elections affect our everyday lives.
One of the issues is about drawing lines for districts for the Ohio House of Representatives. It's very skewed right now. I heard on an NPR discussion recently that the democrats had 55,000 more votes in the 2014 election, but republicans still hold a supermajority in the state house of representatives.
Can people realize how important it is to vote in the off-year elections?
Two of the most controversial issues concern whether to legalize marijuana and whether to change the state constitution so that monopolies can't be written into the Ohio Constitution. We did that once by allowing two companies to build casinos.
The marijuana bill would allow 10 investor groups to be in charge of the growing and distribution of marijuana in our state. A bunch of rules are included, like people can grow marijuana for their own use, but they have to buy the seeds from one of the 10 companies.
If you hear the results of the election nationally, you'll probably just find out if Ohio legalized marijuana, without any of the nuance, like that people who favor legalization might still vote down this proposal.
In spite of the marijuana issue, not many of my college students seem inclined to vote.
That's why I offer them some incentive. I'll give them extra credit if they vote in the election. They have to bring me their sticker that says, "I voted" and they have to look me in the eye and say they voted. I'll have to trust them.
Some of them vowed to take selfies in the voting booths,

but I have an inkling that is illegal in Ohio. If the students aren't registered, aren't old enough or aren't American citizens, they can write a one-page paper about why voting is important. I'm hoping that research will convince them to register and vote when they're able.
 

Swimming in the Big Arena

Can you all stand another post about high school swimming? At least you can know that the topic will soon be put to rest.
But, after the competition at States on Thursday, the boys relay made it into the finals on Friday night. Tucker was number 17 in the 50 free, so that means he is an alternate in the finals.
Just saying this makes it seem like the swim meet was fairly calm.
It wasn't.
Tucker swam the 50 free as his first event. His time wasn't as good as it was last week, before he got the flu.
Within a few minutes, I had a text message from the swim coach. Tucker wanted to "declare a false start" rather than swim the 100 free.
Earl immediately felt he needed to swim it. That seemed to be what most of the dads around us said. He had made it into States in the 100 free,  he shouldn't miss the opportunity.
But the flu has a big impact on the lungs, and after swimming the 50 free in 22 seconds, Tucker felt his limitations. He told the coach that he wanted to save his energy for the relay, which had a good chance to make it to the finals.
So the coach was able to pull Tucker out of the 100 free, and when that event swam a few minutes later, an empty lane at the end of the pool showed where Tucker should have been.
When the 200 relay swam, they placed 15th which put them in the finals Friday night.
I recorded the race on my sister-in-law's iPad. My favorite part is before the race starts when Tucker puts his hand on a teammates shoulder and gives him some words of wisdom.
Here they are cheering on their final teammate Josh as he swims.

We knew Tucker had one more event to swim -- the 400 free relay, in which each boy swims a 100. I thought that Tucker might let the extra boy on the team swim his leg of the race, but when that boy came up to the stands, I realized Tucker was going to swim it. 

The boys finished 22nd in the 400 relay, so they won't move on to the finals. One of the teammates, Tucker's best friend Josh, was disgusted with the way he swam and walked away at the end of the race, but I got a picture of the remaining three swimmers.

We thought we were finished for the day, but Tucker had tied with another swimmer in the 50 free. He had to have a swim off. I thought he might just concede so he didn't have to swim again. But he decided to get competitive. Sucked up his energy and swam against another boy who had the exact same time.

Tucker won. I think that puts him in 17th place. So he won't swim the 50 free in finals unless someone else doesn't swim.

So for today, back to Canton, Ohio. That's about a two-and-a-half-hour drive. Earl can't go today, so unless I can convince Grace to come along, I'll be on my own or catch a ride with other parents. 

Son Departure

Those of you who follow me on Facebook or who read my blog yesterday know that I'm in Florida, but what you don't know if that this trip almost didn't happen.

Spencer and I had plane tickets to fly from Ohio to Florida on Saturday morning.

At 5:50 a.m., I received a text from Spencer that he was throwing up. Doesn't matter if you 5 or 20, apparently you still want your mom when you're sick. 

I trundled down the stairs with a glass of water and tucked him back into bed, hoping that it was just a fluke, a one-time thing. But less than an hour later I heard him throwing up again. He continued to throw up all morning as the clock ticked toward time for us to leave for the airport.

We were flying on a small airline that only has two flights per week from Columbus to Florida. If we didn't make the Saturday plane, he couldn't get back to school by the time classes started on Monday.

Earl suggested we should simply drive down to Florida on Sunday when Spencer was better. So I resigned myself. Then Spencer rallied and we journeyed to the airport. 

By this time, Spencer's stomach issues had migrated south as well. 

As we climbed on the plane, I asked the flight attendant if we could sit in the back row by the bathrooms. She doubled up some trash bags and handed them to Spencer.

The flight took less than two hours and when the fasten seat belt lights were off, Spence mostly stayed in the bathroom. 

The plane coming in to land over Tampa Bay and the Bayside Bridge that stretches from Clearwater to Tampa

We landed and Spencer lay day on a concrete bench in front of the airport while I went in search of our rental car. Poor guy. Even at 6-foot, 4-inches, he's my baby. I felt so bad for him.

As we drove the 10-miles from the airport to his college, he clutched the plastic bags and heaved into them. When we got into his room, he promptly climbed into bed. I went shopping for groceries and made a couple of trips from the car to his room. I broke my New Year resolution by using plastic grocery bags. I just didn't plan ahead and bring bags with me for shopping in Florida. I even looked at the Walmart for cloth bags to buy, but no luck. (I usually avoid Walmart but make an exception only when dropping kids at college.) Hopefully, Spencer will feel like eating some of those groceries again soon.

I felt bad leaving him there in bed. His head felt warm, like he maybe had a fever, but he said he was feeling better and just needed sleep. Hope he got some.The last time I went to the dorm and had to force him to open the door for me, I snapped this picture of him. I told  him, open your eyes, so he did, and then he stumbled back to bed. I, however, drove to my parents house and am basking in the sun now.

Here are a couple of photos from my morning run. Hope you all have something equally inspiring in your days today. 

Post Christmas Wrap Up

The cats enjoyed Christmas, even if the gifts weren't for them.

Unlike many of you who are counting books you've read and challenges you've reached this year, I'm counting my lucky stars that we survived -- enjoyed -- a lovely Christmas.
I got most of my shopping done by the end of last week, or so I thought.
On Christmas Eve, we drove an hour and a half to my brother's house in Dayton for lunch. That was the first time we got to see my nephew's baby Lydia. She's a month old and all of her dark hair makes her look like a doll baby. Her mother paints her nails and keeps a bow in her hair. Our nieces who have daughters try to keep them from being too girly, so this is definitely a different style of parenting!

Cousins. My kids are on the left side. Michael, Lydia's dad, was holding
the bottleand stuck it between his legs for the photo. Goofball

On the drive to my brother's I reminded Spencer that he didn't really have much on his Christmas list, so people had to do their best to guess what he wanted.
"I know," he said. "The only thing on my list was NBA 2K14 for Xbox."
"What?" I shrieked from behind the steering wheel. "That wasn't on you list. You said you wanted a speaker and Boss Cologne."

I got a new cap and scarf on Christmas morning.

Suddenly, the only thing my middle child wanted wasn't under the tree.
We got back to Columbus around 4:30 and I zipped over to Target where I found the game he wanted. I'd planned to schedule a massage for him, so the game replaced the future massage. I'm still not sure he played it.
Midnight mass was on our schedule. By 10 p.m. Tucker and Spencer were both asleep and I was nodding off. I'm just not a late night person.
After opening our presents Christmas morning, we went to my husband's sisters for a casual meal and the chance to see all of her daughters and their children.

Regan, one and a half, was not about to sit still for photos.

In between these events, I snatched moments of reading. I can recommend Kathleen Tessaro's Flirt. What a fun idea.
Hope you all had joyful holidays and look forward to New Year celebrations.

Grant turned 1 just before Christmas. 

19th Birthday

Today, my son turns 19 and is spending his first birthday away from home, away from me.
Of course, it's bound to happen unless someone has a summer birthday -- school and jobs will interfere with traveling across the country to visit on birthdays.
This year, Spencer headed off to college in Florida, leaving me here in cold Ohio. I haven't seen him since we dropped him off on August 10. But Earl drove down to Florida to help my parents with a move and he scooped up Spencer for the weekend. Earl sent me a picture of Spencer sitting in a recliner, watching footall and eating nachos. He seems to be doing okay.
But this birthday away from home made me remember that night, 19 years ago, when I gave birth to Spencer in Michigan. I don't let Earl forget that he talked football with one of the many medical interns crowded into the room while I labored.
After Spencer was born, I called my family and friends. My brother Kevin answered the phone and I told him Spencer arrived at 9:20 p.m. on this Thursday night.
"So you missed Seinfeld then?" he asked.
And that's how I'll always remember what day Spencer was born. The early 90s were prime Seinfeld years, and Spencer later came to love the series as well.
Spencer was born curious and caring, and he still is.
He used to run to our bed every morning, his thick feet pounding across the wooden floor before he dived between us.
Once in our bed, one of his favorite games to play was pressing Earl's nose. Earl would honk or beep.
One morning, Earl was too tired to respond. Spencer gave Earl's nose a few more pushes without any results. He  puzzled over it for a minute.
"Huh, must need new batteries," he said before sliding off the bed and onto his next adventure.
I miss my little guy, and my big guy.

Happy Birthday, Spencer.

Tribute to the Man on the Moon

I don't want to sound like Forrest Gump, always inserting myself in famous situations, but when Neil Armstrong died this week, it reminded me of my childhood.
I'm too young to remember watching the moon landing on TV, although I'm sure my parents plunked me down in front of it to see the historic moment. What I remember about Neil Armstrong was going to school with his son, Mark, who is my age.
Somewhere around 4th or 5th grade, the Armstrongs moved to Lebanon, Ohio, my hometown. They bought a big green farm house on a winding road, and Mark attended the same middle school as me. Well, there was only one middle school for our little town. It's the same school that you can see in the movie Harper Valley PTA which was filmed in our town.
I'm not sure when Mark and I became friends, but my mother later told me that his mother always made sure Mark and I were in the same class, because she thought the competition was good for him. Who would be surprised to learn that I was competitive about getting the best grades in class?
So throughout middle school, Mark and I shared a classroom and around about 6th grade, we started attending boy/girl parties and going on outings to Kings Island amusement park, which was close by.
Apparently, our paths diverged in high school, and I ended up graduating a year early, so I didn't see Mark again, although my dad told me he asked about me one day when Dad saw him at the local YMCA.
Just last month, I found Mark on Facebook. I sent him a message about his complicated science majors at college. I have politics on my Facebook page, and Mark let me know right away that he disagreed with my politics.
I replied: "Yikes. Launching into politics first thing? Can't we talk about Kings Island in 6th grade instead?"
I was afraid my friend Mark was lost to me forever.
Luckily, he messaged back letting me know he retained his wit: "Too soon? But, uh, you did put it out there on your home page which makes it fair game, right? Actually, I'm quite happy to stay away from politics. So, do you prefer the blue or the red Racer. Do you like to ride forwards or backwards?"
The Racer is the original roller coaster at Kings Island, and I'm sure many of our conversations in middle school centered around which was the best.
But the whole idea about politics being "fair game" made me want to retort, "We aren't competing any more."
I was in the midst of delivering kids to school, so I didn't message back, not until this week, when I heard his father had died.
I avoided mentioning the obvious, that it's weird to hear that someone's parent died on the news. Mark's dad didn't just belong to him; he belonged to the whole world as the first man to walk on the moon.
So Mark will always have to share his dad, but right now, he's the one who is suffering the loss.
Tonight, when I look up at the Blue Moon, the second full moon in one month, I'll remember Neil Armstrong, the man who made history, and fathered my middle school friend.

Afternoon Thunderstorms

This afternoon, the sky grew dark in the middle of the afternoon. I rushed to finish preparing a spaghetti dinner before Earl left for work, so he could dish it into a plastic container to take along.
I flipped on the light over the stove, then moved to turn on another light over the counter as the gray clouds rumbled, blocking the sun.
Then after he had left, as Spencer and I sat on either side of the wide wooden table, the rain came down with a vengeance and the temperature plummeted. The rain streamed from the downspouts and blew sideways in sheets.
Flashes lit up the sky and raindrops pattered against the metal awnings over the windows.
I threw up a few windows to smell the aroma of the earth as it soaked in the needed rain. The scent of the air thick with moisture.
This afternoon storm reminded me of so many others.
When Earl and I lived in St. Petersburg, we would often listen to the rainstorms from his brass bed, the sound on the roof the most romantic of symphonies.
When we lived in central Florida, I remember watching lonely storms from the back, screened-in porch and the temptation to run into the fierce rains before they dried up and moved along.
After the kids were born, I was more likely to move to the basement as storms rolled in and the overly cautious tornado sirens began their wailing.
Now though, with a front porch that looks out over the surrounding houses, I'm drawn there to watch the flashes and listen to the rumblings of the great bowling alley in the sky.

How about you? Do you like thunderstorms?

I Voted

Today was voting day. Since it's an odd year, no state or national politicians are on the ballot.
Just some local city council, mayoral and school board member.
Still, the polling places were expected to be busy because Ohio is voting on Issue 2. Issue 2 determines whether the law passed by the legislature and signed by the governor should be overturned. That law takes away unions' rights to collectively bargain. That means workers would not be able to band together and agree together to accept certain wages or vacation time or benefits. That means the firefighters wouldn't be able to negotiate and say they need more firefighters on duty. They'd just have to accept what management gave them.
The people who support Issue 2 say that local governments can save money, but who are they kidding. The local firefighters, teachers, police officers and snow plow drivers are not getting rich.
If Issue 2 remains the law then the average worker has no power against management. The worker can take the deal or quit his job.
Sometimes unions go too far, and everyone can tell a story about a person who didn't have to do any work because the union protected that person's job. Overall, though, unions have protected the working people. They've allowed many of us to move up to a middle class lifestyle that we might not have had.
So I hope tomorrow you'll hear that Issue 2 was defeated and the state workers of Ohio are still allowed to collectively bargain.
There's no excuse if people don't get to the polls. It's gorgeous out there today.

Lions and Tigers and Bears, Oh My

This morning I woke up in a Carl Hiaasen novel.
Hiaasen writes novels set in Florida where seemingly unbelievable things happen, but they always do actually happen in Florida. Today, Ohio has an exotic animal escapade to rival Florida's best adventures.
The basics of the story is that an exotic animal owner in southeastern Ohio was found dead with all of the animal cages open. When the sheriff arrived, the “four, aggressive” animals were apparently eating the dead owner. The other animals were roaming the Ohio countryside.

The owner kept camels and giraffes, along with lions, tigers, bears, cheetahs, and wolves. 48 animals in all that are now hiding in Ohio. The sheriff's office, of course, shot to kill the loose animals. So far they've tracked down about 30 animals. The Columbus Zoo sent people to help, hoping to tranquilize the animals rather than kill them. Schools down there are cancelled today as people crouch in their homes looking out the window.
So I wondered, how did the guy die? The animals couldn't have opened all the cages. My first thought is suicide. He decided to open the cages and let the animals attack him, plus, he got the last laugh on the officials who kept citing him for violating the exotic animal codes.
And I would have gone with that theory if not for the end of the news article which explained that another exotic animal owner near Cleveland, Ohio had been in trouble too. That owner was found dead this summer, tied up and wearing a mask.
Now the Hiaasen plot kicks in. Obviously, someone is going around Ohio killing exotic animal owners and creating havoc. Why would someone do this?
Ohio has one of the weakest exotic animal laws apparently. So the obvious answer is that it must be some Ohio legislator who wants to strengthen the exotic animal law. He can't get the needed votes or attention. That's why he starts killing exotic animal owners and letting the animals roam loose.
Now he has people's attention.
What do you think? Too far fetched? Has Hiaasen already written this novel?

Saturday Snapshot

Saturday Snapshot is hosted by Alyce of At Home With Books. If you are interested in participating, just post a photo (new or old), but make sure it's not one that you found online. Add your link to Alyce's Saturday post for all to enjoy.

Earl went hiking last Sunday in Wayne National Forest in southeastern Ohio and took this shot full of sunshine and shadow across the rocks.
The trail he followed is one of the most difficult in Ohio, but he found it a bit disappointing because the arduous trail never led to high point with a great view.

Protests

My toes are cold. It's 27 degrees outside and the ground is covered with snow and ice. I stood in it for an hour and the moisture crept through my winter boots, slowly up my brown corduroy pants.
I was far from alone though, surrounded by firefighters, police officers, teachers, machinists, construction workers, corrections officers, pipefitters.
Bagpipes and drums from police and fire stations led the rally in front of the Ohio Statehouse. The firefighters wore their helmets; some police officers had on dress uniforms. I have to admit to a tiny frisson of "this is a moment" when I saw that first firefighter in his helmet. These are the people from our neighborhoods fighting for their rights.
A scary Batman looking SWAT truck stood at the ready across the street.
In Ohio, like in Wisconsin, the governor has proposed cuts to public workers' salaries and benefits. Public workers know about the state budget deficit and they have agreed to the cuts. They won't agree to give up their Collective Bargaining rights.
Collective bargaining means all of the workers band together in a union and negotiate for pay and benefits. This is what led to little things like the 40-hour work week, minimum wage, weekends, safer working conditions so people don't lose limbs.
Doesn't it seem like it would cost more time and money to bargain with each employee individually than to do it all as one union? But our new governor, John Kasich, has determined that collective bargaining must go. Maybe he doesn't plan to bargain with anyone, just lay down edicts.
The protestors carried signs. Oh, the signs. Some were over the top, like the one that called Kasich a fascist. And, of course, Hitler and concentration camps were also mentioned. Although the Hitler one was based in fact. "Hitler abolished unions in 1933." Apparently, according to my husband the history buff, that's true, but Hitler abolished a lot of things in 1933.
Kasich worked for Lehman Brothers on Wall Street. I don't think he ever had to rely on collective bargaining. That was another sign: "the rich don't need collective bargaining but 98% of Americans do."
I went to the rally alone so I wandered amongst the crowd and snapped some photos. I chanted along "Kill the Bill."
Everyone looked a little sheepish. We weren't really certain how to protest. Some college students had obviously been working on it. They had some good call and responses chants:
"Tell me what democracy looks like."
"This is what democracy looks like."
Another slogan we chanted: "O-H-I-O state bill 5 has got to go!"
No one was really in charge though. A couple of guys had bullhorns. U.S. Rep. Dennis Kucinich moved through the crowd shaking hands. News trucks lined the streets.
The bagpipers began playing "God Bless America" and we all sang along, mumbling those words in the middle "from the hmmm,hmmm, to the prairies, to the oceans, capped with snow?"
"No, foam."
"oh, right."
"God Bless America, my home sweet home."
Someone held up a sign about growing hemp. Can we ever be on the same topic for a few minutes?
When the chants began again: "This is our house; let us in." I moved away from the crowd and drove home.
I'm a teacher; my rights are represented by a union, and I have papers to grade.
I couldn't find what I was looking for anywhere: a petition to recall our new governor. I wanted to sign it.
One thing that impresses me about the new governor: that he has managed to rile up this many people in such a short time.