Last night, my friend Najah came over. She's single and she gives relationship advice to my 23-year-old daughter. She started talking to Grace about the book The 5 Languages of Love. Since I've been married 25 years, it's not a book I'd heard of. The basics are that people need to figure out the main way the give and receive love, and how their partner gives and receives love. The five main ways the author describes are"Words of Affirmation, Quality Time, Receiving Gifts, Acts of Service, and Physical Touch."
As Najah explained them, I realized that my husband's pretty good at most of these (except the gifts which neither of us find important), but the main one I see is "Acts of Service." He'll come in from a day at work and ask if he can get me anything. That's crazy!
"Go relax," he'll tell me. "I'll unload the dishwasher."
And he is the main laundry washer in my house. He might have an ulterior motive since he thinks my laundry skills are inferior, but if he prefers to stay on top of the laundry in the house, I'm happy to accept it.
My husband has learned to steam the milk on the espresso maker so he can make me a latte even though he doesn't drink coffee. He shows me love through his acts of service every day.
3 comments:
I haven't read the book, but I know the concept. My sister and my SIL are both counselors, so the Love Language theme is constant in our family. It is important to recognize that not all people use the same language to express love. You have to learn to recognize it in the form of gifts, backrubs, acts of service, time spent. And you have to remember to reciprocate also. Fill the other one's bucket! I am enjoying your 12 Days post. What a great idea.
Thanks, Judy. Happy new year to you
Dear Paulita. Happy New Year. I am loving your posts. I was given this book by a counsellor to help me and hubby. I wanted him to spend time with me and he wanted to give me gifts. Anyway it is a brilliant book. But obviously it didn't help us. I think my husband has had a massive midlife crisis. One that I cannot help him with nor can I deal with it.
Excellent posts, keep up the good work. Looking forward to your new book :-) and more on your MOVE :-)
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