Life With Boys

My life is so different now that my daughter has gone away to college. Here's just one example.
In the car the other day, Spencer and his friend Dakota were in the backseat on the way home from an AAU basketball game.
"So are you going to prom, Dakota?" I asked.
"I don't know. Probably." Dakota looks to Spencer and they both shrug.
Spencer, who has heard this question before, adamantly said no to prom about a month ago. "Why would I spend that much money if I'm not dating someone?" he asked.
Last week he said, "Maybe" lilting his voice up at the end, which means there's a girl he may want to ask, although he would die rather than tell me who.
My friend Stephanie told me her daughter's prom is in two weeks, so I asked the boys if they were running out of time.
"When is the prom anyway?" I asked.
They both looked blankly at each other. They had no clue.
Last year, the minute spring musical wrapped up, we were ankle deep in prom preparations. Dresses were chosen and shoes admired. Hairstyles considered and flowers ordered. The date, the group, the dinner, all were in order long before the prom tickets were printed. That's how it goes with girls.
With boys, the pace is a little slower.
I wouldn't be surprised if prom came and went with the boys not even noticing that it had passed. But I plan to pressure Spence a little bit to ask a girl his age, rather than the freshman and sophomores who flock around the upperclassmen; a tall girl who might not get to wear heals unless she goes with a tall guy like Spence. Okay, I already have a girl in mind who he was texting the other day -- not that it means anything. They all text each other constantly.
I imagine if he does ask someone, we'll be scurrying to find a corsage and to buy black dress shoes that will match his tux.
I went to the school website this morning and learned that the prom isn't until the middle of May. We have plenty of time -- in boy time, that is. In girl time, we would already be in panic mode at the lack of a date.

Clutter

While Grace was gone, I decided to clean her room. I know, I know. First, she should be responsible for cleaning her own room. Second, I shouldn't mess with her stuff. But there were piles of clothes and bags and notebooks and papers. My friend Sheila said, "I always loved it when I would go to camp and my mom cleaned my room."
I remember always hoping a fairy godmother would clean my room, but she never showed. So, I started with the floor. The floor of Grace's room is rarely seen. When she comes home, she throws her book bag, her swim bag, her lifeguard bag on the floor in front of her closet door. I was going to concentrate on the floor until I saw the older cat go into Grace's closet. I opened the door and saw him peeing (more like dripping) on the pile of clothes there. The cat went to the vet for a urinary tract infection and I switched my focus to the closet. I picked up every item of clothing, vacuumed and scrubbed the wood floor, organized the shoes. Found a place for her backpack and other bags on the shelf along the top. As I cleaned, I found $1.80 in quarters and dimes, along with a dollar bill folded into a tiny triangle. Spencer had carried out some trash for me and run things up and down the stairs. He was going to Panera to hang out with friends so I gave him the $2.80 I'd found so far.
It took me three days of hard labor to get this room in shape. I threw out two bags of trash, mostly papers, and organized all of her "keepsakes" into bins that are easily retrievable. I pulled a crushed gift bag from under her bed and looked through it. I found two birthday cards with a $25 Panera gift card and a $20 bill. Her birthday was in January. I put the cash in her money drawer, but I was sweating and decided the gift card was buying dinner for us.
Her bed, which was mine when I was a girl, but it had a canopy while now it is a mere four-poster, was listing at one end. We took off the mattress and boxspring so Earl could reinforce the frame. OMG! You should have seen everything that was under there. Some normal things, like her sewing basket and a bin with her American Girl doll wardrobes, but also trash and bags and boxes.
Tucker was excited by the booty I had found so far and was willing to help. He picked up a small festive Christmas box and opened it. Christmas cookies! Gag! I'd found her Halloween candy in the closet on a shelf, so I guess the next thing to look for would be Valentine candy.
It took more than a day to clean out from under the bed and vacuum so Earl could fix the frame. Then we replaced the mattress and boxsprings and put on the freshly washed bedskirt, mattress pad, sheets and quilt.
I still had the hard surfaces, her bedside table, dresser, bookshelf and desk. Grace refuses to throw away anything. This year, when Spencer was taking government she would consult her notes whenever he had a question. So I filled a bin with school notes. Another bin is full of her drawing and writing notebooks. This emptied up a lot of space on her bookshelf for actual books which previously inhabited the floor.
Finally, I moved on to her desk. I found many of the applications to college swim teams that had been sent by coaches. I organized those in a folder and put them at the front of her file folders. I found more birthday cards, including a $20 check from my parents, again from January.
So Grace was up $40, and we had a nice dinner at Panera, and her room is clean. For now. I know it won't last, but maybe in July when we have to clear out the desk and fit a twin bed into her room for the French girl who is coming, there won't be as much clutter to clear out.