Husband MIA

All it takes to realize how much someone does for you, is to have them leave for awhile. Lucky for me, it was only a temporary absence as my husband and oldest son gallivant around the state of Florida, leaving me and the 16-year-old home alone. I can tell you that the 16-year-old has not picked up the slack. Even now, I'm waiting to hear the dryer start because I asked him to put the sheets in the dryer and turn it on. The dryer is empty; the sheets are washed. It's a fairly simple act if he can hoist his teenage body off the futon and away from the video games.
My husband mowed the lawn before he left last week, so I haven't had to tackle that. I have had to take out the trash and scoop the kitty pan everyday -- something he usually takes care. I needed to remember to set the trash cans and the recycling bins out by the curb the night before our trash pick up.
I've had to do the laundry, which he usually handles. My husband works evenings, so when I'm gone to work during the day, he takes care of the yard and household things. Then I get home and collapse. I'm so wimpy.
I have had to wash by hand all the dishes that Tucker and I have used. Our dishwasher has been broken since September, and it was never a good dishwasher any way, so instead of getting it fixed, we plan to buy a new one. But it's stainless steel so we need to replace it with a stainless steel one and those are more expensive, plus college payments keep getting in the way. So the dishwasher stands empty while I keep filling the sink with sudsy water, washing the dishes and setting them out to dry on the countertop. Lots of times when I'm at work, Earl takes care of that too.
Some simple things that he takes care of have gone undone. One day, we didn't bring the newspaper in at all. It just laid there on the front porch. Earl's also the one who gets the mail, usually the next day since it comes after he leaves for work and I never think of getting it, so I've had to remember that.
Luckily, nothing has broken while he has been gone, because Earl fixes everything in the house.
I can do without him for a week or so, but the whole place would probably fall apart if he left for much longer.

Forced Labor

Children forced to do dishes can get carried away with the suds!

The other day I asked Grace whether she wanted to unload the dishwasher or load it. She brought me a copy of an article she read for English class. It was by Jane Smiley, the author of A Thousand Acres, and made a case for not requiring kids to do chores. It turns out Smiley never did chores as a child. Her mother followed her around cleaning up until they could afford a cleaning lady.I'm sure this is similar to the life many of us led. Smiley learned work ethic by taking care of horses, which she really loved. Smiley also isn't making her children do any chores.
The case she made was that children are asked to do the worst chores. For instance, Mom will cook dinner and the daughter will be asked to do dishes. I have no problem with this, if Grace wants to cook dinner, I'll be happy to wash dishes.
Smiley also claimed that it takes four hours maximum to keep a house clean these days, I guess that was her reasoning for why children shouldn't have to participate. I'm flabbergasted by that suggestion. On Friday I did not do a lick of cleaning, but probably still spent four hours after I got up to make lunches (hate making lunches already), went to the grocery store, and made dinner. And this was in between working from 9-2 then 6-9:30. Why shouldn't my kids help out?
I think it would be nice if we could all have someone to take care of the chores we don't want to do. I would be happy to cook a few times a week, but that isn't my choice. I have to cook every day if I want my children to eat something other than chips and salsa.
I'm not certain if I would ever say, "I really could get into cleaning the toilet today," but, face it, it needs to be done.
Simply put, kids should do chores because everyone lives in the house together and we should all contribute. They don't contribute nearly as much as my husband and I do, but some small token is required. Unloading the dishwasher, scooping the kitty pan, running the vacuum. This will not kill them and will help them realize what is involved and necessary to keep a house running at a minimum level of cleanliness.
So Jane Smiley, I disagree with your essay. I'm not sure what advantage children get from not pitching in, other than more time on their facebook pages and the inability to figure out how to run a vacuum when they're older.