Grand Tour

When I was in France for three months, more than 25 years ago, I probably talked to my parents three times by phone. We sent regular letters, but my folks had no idea what my daily life was like.
Grace's trip to France has been very different. We text, we email, we Skype. I know her schedule, which is why, on days like today, I'm anxiously hovering around my computer waiting to hear from her.
She went to Rome last Tuesday by night train -- alone, which I think is very brave. She met a friend there and she was supposed to take the night train back to Paris on Saturday. But an Italian train strike caused her to spend an extra night in Rome. She had her ticket for Sunday evening and she should be back in Paris now, which is nearly noon Monday Paris time.
I turn on my computer and check Skype. She isn't online and hasn't left me a message. I look at my email. Nothing from Grace.
Next I look at Facebook to see if there are any updates. No.
Now I'm working myself up.
The last I heard from her was Sunday morning as she sat in a restaurant/bar with WiFi, alone, in Rome. She had dropped her phone into the Mediterranean Sea, so it wasn't working. She planned to venture out to find some tshirts as souvenirs for the boys. She had the rest of the day before she caught her train.
We went to my brother's house near Dayton yesterday and we tried to connect with Grace by Skype there. No luck.
Did she get on the train?
Did the train make it to Paris?
I'm trying to think of other cyber clues I could look for to discover Grace's whereabouts.
I sign onto our bank account and now I can relax a bit.
I see that extra money has been added to her account. She must have stopped at the train station and returned the extra ticket she had to buy because of the train strike.
Now, I can feel more comfortable that Grace has made it back to Paris. I can go on with the other things I need to do, like making lunches for the boys.
I'm not sure which is preferable while having a teenager abroad -- being able to stay in touch and worrying about the little things, or being totally oblivious to the details of her life so assuming the best.
Sometimes, a little knowledge is a dangerous thing -- especially for a worrying mother.
Update: Grace contacted me by Skype and she is back in Paris. None the worse for wear, except for falling out of the top bunk on the night train. Don't they have rails?

A 19-year-old's Adventures in France

I can't believe that Grace left for France a month ago.
The time has flown past for me, here in Ohio.
At first, I was afraid that this was going to be one of those experiences that Grace could look back on and appreciate, rather than enjoying it now. She was tired and frustrated with the language. She panicked when it came time for Earl to come home without her.
I got texts, I got Skype calls. Her eyes were wide and darting around as if searching for the exit.
I talked to my friend Michelle and was surprised to learn that her daughter had felt similar despair while in France the previous year. She suggested I go with the 10-day plan.
"Let's give it 10 days," I told Grace.

And after a few days, when she seemed about to sink into the mire again, unable to negotiate the big city in a foreign language, I read her the riot act.
"Get out of your room. Go get a Metro pass. Make a plan to do something."
And she did.
She's captured days like this where the sky was incredibly blue and no one could be sad or lonely.

Not every moment has been happy since then. She caught a cold and spent a weekend sniffling in bed. But she has embraced the idea of traveling and exploring.
Most everyday she ventures around the city and discovers some small joy.
Yesterday morning, as I was getting ready to leave for work, she messaged me on Skype:

oh my gosh!!! best day for the early part of today, cant wait to tell you about it

That made my heart soar.
Later I found out that she discovered a market and explored it. The little adventures are adding up.
I'm so glad that she can enjoy these moments and know that she'll be able to look back on them with pleasure too.

Saturday Snapshot -- Mont St. Michel

To participate in the Saturday Snapshot meme post a photo that you (or a friend or family member) have taken then leave a direct link to your post on Alyce's blog At Home With Books. Photos can be old or new, and be of any subject as long as they are clean and appropriate for all eyes to see. How much detail you give in the caption is entirely up to you. Please don’t post random photos that you find online.
My husband accompanied my daughter to France. She has gone for three months; he went for a week to make sure she got there safely because she hates flying. They visited Mont St. Michel while in France so here are a couple of photos.
Here's an interesting detail shot that Grace took:

The tide was low, which allowed everyone to park in the lot until the tide comes in.

And here's a shot of Grace back on dry land:

France Travails

Grace's travels in France, and the accompanying angst is making me re-remember some of my own journeys. When I think back to those three months in France, I look at the entire experience and how it changed my life. I don't remember the daily struggles.
But first, Delana asked if I had a picture of myself in the pink fishnet anklets with the pink skirt. Indeed, I do and here it is:

So Grace is feeling frustrated about not understanding a language that she has studied and she is feeling shy about speaking French. I get that. The first two weeks I was with the French families, I hardly spoke at all. And they talked about me, right in front of me for a few weeks until I started to understand what they were saying. I promise Grace every time that we talk that it will get easier.
When I went to France, it was a last minute thing. I was 22 years old, working as a reporter at a daily newspaper in Middletown, Ohio, and dating a photographer. The photographer had a sister who was married to a Frenchman, Jose. (That J is pronounced zh instead of the Spanish way.) They had two little girls, Brigid and Claire, whie the wife was pregnant with her third child. The tickets to fly to France had already been purchased when the wife started to have complications. Someone needed to go with the girls to France and stay at their grandparents' house with them. That's where I came in.
I had only a few days to prepare so I didn't have time to panic. I filled a very, very big suitcase and went.
The father, who is a doctor, came along at the beginning for a medical conference. We flew into Paris and stayed at the grandparents' apartment in Viroflay, outside Paris in the direction of Versailles. The grandparents weren't there at the time, so when Jose left that morning for his medical conference, the girls and I were alone in France.
Maybe there's something about being responsible for other people that made me step up to the plate and take action. When the phone rang in the apartment that morning, I didn't answer it though. No way was I attempting to speak French on the phone. Brigid, 4, answered and it was her uncle Vincent, who spoke very good English.
After Jose had gone to the conference, I was responsible for getting the girls ready and meeting him at Luxembourg Gardens for lunch.
I dressed the girls in matching yellow overalls because, as a 22-year-old, I thought that was so cute. But their long sleeve shirts quickly became too warm on our outing so they ended up wearing the overalls without shirts underneath which looked a little white trash.
I have no idea how we made it onto the RER and got the train into Paris then switched to the Metro to meet Jose at Luxembourg Gardens. Somehow we did. The trips I took alone with the girls all run together, so I'm not sure if it was that day or another day that I went through the gate at the metro, with my one little ticket, pushing the girls in front of me since they were free, and they got stuck on the other side of the gate. There I was on the outside; the 3 and 4-year-olds were on the other side. The gate was closed. I panicked.
"Wait right there," I said. I imagined that I needed to run back to the window to buy another ticket to get through. Luckily, a woman behind me, who was wheeling a suitcase, took pity on me and let me go through on her ticket so I didn't have to desert too little girls in the Metro station.
When we met Jose at the Luxembourg Gardens, we had ham sandwiches with butter for lunch. I can still taste them. We fed the extra bread to the fish in the pond.
Then Jose went off to his meeting and he told me to take the girls by bus to his grandmother's apartment. Well, apparently, we got on the bus going in the wrong direction. The entire hot afternoon was spent climbing on and off buses going farther and farther away from Jose's grandmother's apartment. At one point, we got off the bus and I herded the girls to a cafe for a Coke. We all needed to raise our blood sugar a bit.
The cafe was chic and the people around us were very polite. They admired the girls and they asked about our trip. But when I asked them about taking the bus, they all shrugged. None of them were bus users.
I admonished Claire to be careful not to spill her drink then I promptly spilled my Coke and it flowed off the edge of the glass table.
Could the day get any worse?
Somehow, some way, we eventually got to Jose's grandmother's apartment, which is where I met Marguerite, who is still my friend today.
So, although I may tell Grace that my travels in France were the best times of my life, the individual days were a challenge. Maybe I didn't appreciate them until I came back, and maybe she won't either.
Until then, I'm encouraging her to find one good thing everyday to appreciate. I'll do the same here in Ohio.

France Blog

Yay! Grace is blogging again. This time, about her trip to France.
Take a look to see France through the eyes of a brave, yet frightened, 19-year-old American.
Grace's Blog: Life Allons-y!

On Their Way

As I write this, Earl and Grace are winging their way across the Atlantic Ocean.
The preparations were exhausting. I spent the past few weeks helping Grace find every possible item she might need while she stays in France.

Her wardrobe is filled with black basics. She has some kickin black boots and some adorable, comfortable black wedges.
She has a phone that works overseas, after I spent more hours on the phone with Verizon than I've spent alone with my husband in months.
We had a last favorite meal before Grace left -- brown rice pasta with goat cheese.
Grace got a haircut and gave horsie rides to her little cousin Caroline who will grow up a ton in three months. Just like Grace will.
I got some gift ideas from my blogging friends Linda and Corey, and spent yesterday searching for Polo shirts to give the French kids and coffee table books that feature the beauty of Ohio? Well, at least the United States.
I wrapped gifts in tissue paper last night while Grace, Bethany and Anna finished packing her bags.
This morning, I had to leave for work before Earl and Grace went to the airport. The hug Grace gave me bruised my ribs, and she left tear stains on my shoulder. Going away for three months is a tough step for Grace.
While I was teaching this morning, I received a call from Earl.
"Someone needs you," he said.
I spoke with a crying Grace until the plane was ready to take off.
We spoke again when they got to New York. The next time I hear from them, they will be standing on French soil and sending me a text.
"Bonjour from France."

Saturday Snapshot -- Windy Venice Memories

To participate in the Saturday Snapshot meme post a photo that you (or a friend or family member) have taken then leave a direct link to your post on Alyce's blog At Home With Books. Photos can be old or new, and be of any subject as long as they are clean and appropriate for all eyes to see. How much detail you give in the caption is entirely up to you. Please don’t post random photos that you find online.
Five years ago in the spring, we visited Venice. It was just a day long trip while we waited for the night train to take us to the south of France.

The sky was cloudy and the weather chilly. You can see the clouds scuttling across the sky. We visited San Marco Square and ducked in a cafe for some pizza.

One of the biggest arguments in Venice came when I refused to pay for a gondola ride for Tucker. It cost $90 and I told him he would want to come back with a girlfriend or wife. He shouted and moped. Even today he throws it up in my face. I should have paid the 90 bucks for the experience.

The boys pretended to throw each other off the bridges and shoulted out "No paparazzi" to the passing gondolas.
Who knows if we'll ever go back again as a family, but we'll always have that one day in Venice.

Model Life

My friend Sheila, who used to blog before she became an international traveller two weeks ago, sent an update to her friends as Paris fashion week is winding down.

It’s so much more work than either Beth or I imagined. The emotional stress is also so much more than I would have thought. But at the end of the day Beth loved it. It’s a hard life being a model. It’s definitely not all glitz and glamour....it’s constant travelling never knowing where you’re going to be next. College would be so much easier than all this.

I don't think Sheila actually expects people to feel sorry for her daughter who has become an international model in the matter of a month. And the hours that Bethany has spent going to castings and fittings before waltzing down the runway sound exhausting. Many days she worked 14 hours without time to stop and eat.
She was booked for shows then cancelled at the last minute. She was rejected because she is too skinny -- too skinny to be a model? What did they expect when she didn't have time to eat?
In spite of the excruciating hours and the emotional highs and lows, modeling has some benefits that college would not have.
Even though Beth travelled to New York city alone, she had a strict schedule she had to follow. Nearly every hour was planned. Believe me, that cuts down on the emotional highs and lows that come from the many unscheduled hours in college where teenagers can wallow in their loneliness.
Bethany had planned to go to college in Ohio. Instead, she started modeling in New York City, flew to Milan then on to Paris. Modeling has allowed her to travel the world.
If Bethany had gone to college, she would have to pay the $20,000 yearly tuition, or find grants and loans to pay for college. As a model, she'll be paid for shows and her work. Of course, Sheila still has no idea how much money she has made or how much the expenses of the trip will cost.
As a model, at least in Paris, when Bethany exits the buildings she has to stand and allow the paparazzi to snap her photo. If that happened at college, it would mean she had a stalker.
As a model instead of a college student, Bethany does not have to read any more than her daily schedule. At college, she would have to pay for expensive textbooks then read them by the deadline, along with writing papers and studying for tests.
The best thing about Bethany deciding to forego college is that, after two weeks away from home, Sheila was able to fly and join her. She can smooth her hair and kiss her goodnight. Even when they're in a foreign country and Beth feels tired and may snap at Sheila, they aren't separated for months at a time.
That is something that, as a mother, she could not have done if Bethany had gone to college. When they go away to college, the most a mother can do is send calming words across the phone.
So, in spite of the long hours and hard work,even though it isn't all glamour and easy cash, I'm envious of the new life Bethany and Sheila have. Not just because they get to visit exotic locales, but because they get to be together.

Didya Ever?

This is a list of 100 things to accomplish in your life, originally posted by Linda at http://lindamathieu.com/.
Which ones can you check off?
Which ones do you really want to accomplish?

1. Started your own blog. Well, yeah, accidentally as you'll notice from the title.
2. Slept under the stars. Yep, along the Appalachian Trail, in Yellowstone Park and at the base of Cadillac Mountain in Maine.
3. Played in a band. I was a flag girl in our high school marching band. I always wanted to sing in a band. I sang a lot of solos at church. My son's in a band too.
4. Visited Hawaii- Sadly, no
5. Watched a meteor shower-Yes, although I have a hard time staying awake to see them.
6. Given more than you can afford to charity. Again, sadly, no. Although I tried to donate our used car to NPR once and my husband made me ask for the title back so we could sell it.
7. Been to Disneyland-I've been to Disney World and Disneyland Paris. Should I be proud of that?
8. Climbed a mountain- Yes, see note above about sleeping under the stars at Cadillac Mountain in Maine. I had an awful cold and couldn't breathe as we climbed the mountain. I made Earl find us a ride back to the bottom.
9. Held a praying mantis-yes, when the kids were little and I had to show them how cool they were.
10. Sang a solo-Yes, at church and at a prison!
11. Bungee jumped-Not on my list.
12. Visited Paris- Nine times and counting.
13. Watched a lightning storm at sea- From the shore when we lived in Florida. I've seen waterspouts and hurricanes as well. The bridges all survived and I got to write a newsarticle about it with my friend Suburban Kamikaze.
14. Taught yourself an art from scratch-Hmmm. Can't think of one that I initiated and actually succeed at.
15. Adopted a child-I think we've established that I already overdid my quota of children.
16. Had food poisoning-I used to get sick every time we ate at a restaurant.
17. Walked to the top of the Statue of Liberty-No, I've only been to NYC to shop.
18. Grown your own vegetables- We have a strawberry patch this year, but we grow tomatoes and basil, cucumbers and peppers every year.
19. Seen the Mona Lisa in France-Check
20. Slept on an overnight train- From Paris to Munich and from Venice to Nice. On the Paris to Munich trip a little girl went to the bathroom in the middle of the night and came back to our car by mistake. She was putting her shoes under my bunk when I grabbed her by the little wrist, thinking she was stealing something. I returned her shoes to her car the next morning.
21. Had a pillow fight-all the time with my cousins in Kentucky. We made haunted houses and threw blankets and pillows as the "stickey goo" of Spiderman.
22. Hitch hiked. Nope.
23. Taken a sick day when youre not ill- Isn't that what they are for?
24. Built a snow fort-yes
25. Held a lamb -- Not held, but petted.
26. Gone skinny dipping -- How did I miss this one?
27. Run a Marathon- Yes. Columbus. Once was enough.
28. Ridden in a gondola in Venice-Yes, but not when we took the kids to Venice. Tucker still hasn't forgiven me.
29. Seen a total eclipse-I think so. I remember making those weird boxes in school so we could see the reflection of the eclipse.
30. Watched a sunrise or sunset-Often and enjoyable.
31. Hit a home run-How about a homerun in kickball? Would that count?
32. Been on a cruise- Only a whalewatching tour.
33. Seen Niagara Falls in person-Amazing
34. Visited the birthplace of your ancestors-Relatives still lived there in Three Links, Kentucky when I was growing up.
35. Seen an Amish community-Yes, in Indiana and also when I take Grace back to school in north country New York.
36. Taught yourself a new language- I studied a language -- French. I also studied a bit of Russian.
37. Had enough money to be truly satisfied- I am fairly greedy, so the answer is no, although I am very satisfied with my life.
38. Seen the Leaning Tower of Pisa in person- Yes, when tourists were still allowed to climb it.
39. Gone rock climbing-Does a rock-climbing wall count?
40. Seen Michelangelo’s David- Yes on a college tour.

41. Sung karoke- No. Maybe tonight!
42. Seen Old Faithful geyser erupt-Yep.
43. Bought a stranger a meal at a restaurant -- No.
44. Visited Africa-No.
45. Walked on a beach by moonlight- Fell in love with my husband on a moonlit beach.
46. Been transported in an ambulance-No
47. Had your portrait painted -- Not yet.
48. Gone deep sea fishing-No
49. Seen the Sistine Chapel in person-Yes, but was too young to appreciate it. That same college tour.
50. Been to the top of the Eiffel Tower in Paris- Yes with many people I love.
51. Gone scuba diving or snorkeling-Snorkeling
52. Kissed in the rain- Yes, Gasparilla Flotilla 1988 with my future husband.
53. Played in the mud-Built a bat cave in the empty lot next door.
54. Gone to a drive-in theater- Love the drive-in. Fanta sodas and popcorn in brown paper bags. I've found drive ins to take my kids to so they don't miss out on the experience.
55. Been in a movie - Yes. Harper Valley PTA
56. Visited the Great Wall of China-No
57. Started a business-Does it count if I claim a freelance writing business on my taxes?
58. Taken a martial arts class - No
59. Visited Russia-No
60. Served at a soup kitchen. We've served meals for the homeless with the church and worked at a food pantry.
61. Sold Girl Scout cookies. Yes, and eaten many.
62. Gone whale watching- Yes. Had to turn back because of rough weather.
63. Got flowers for no reason- Lovely.
64. Donated blood, platelets or plasma-Used to donate blood regularly.
65. Gone sky diving- I went indoor skydiving in the Smoky Mountains where they have one of those huge fans that blows you up in the air.
66. Visited a Nazi Concentration Camp- Yes. So stunningly sad.
67. Bounced a check-Unfortunately.
68. Flown in a helicopter-No
69. Saved a favorite childhood toy. Still have some, including my Elmo stuffed animal that my brother and his roommate scratched off the pupils and hung from my loft at college.
70. Visited the Lincoln Memorial-Yes, I went to grad school in DC. My favorite was the Jefferson Memorial at night.
71. Eaten Caviar-On my last trip to France. Not bad on buttered bread.
72. Pieced a quilt - yes. Never finished it.
73. Stood in Times Square-Yes.
74. Toured the Everglades-Almost bought a house there where they pave over the Everglades and name the streets things like Heron Drive for the wildlife they've killed off.
75. Been fired from a job-Only from freelance work.
76. Seen the Changing of the Guards in London- Yes
77. Broken a bone -- "Oh, my nose!"
78. Been on a speeding motorcycle -- Yes, all motorcycles feel like they're speeding.
79. Seen the Grand Canyon in person- Yes
80. Published a book-Not yet
81. Visited the Vatican-Yes and bought a sucker with a picture of Pope John Paul on it for my friend Cyndi.
82. Bought a brand new car- A 1988 mustang convertible. gray and black.
83. Walked in Jerusalem-No
84. Had your picture in the newspaper-Of course.
85. Read the entire Bible-Yes, as a college student.
86. Visited the White House- Yes, the pressroom as a reporter.
87. Killed and prepared an animal for eating -- No. Not on my list.
88. Had chickenpox. Yes and so did all of my kids without the vaccine.
89. Saved someone's life- No.
90. Sat on a jury -- No, journalists never get picked.
91. Met someone famous-The famous Woody Harrelson kiss. See my previous post -- somewhere this past year.
92. Joined a book club- Yes

93. Lost a loved one-Yes.
94. Had a baby-Two sons and a daughter
95. Seen the Alamo in person-Yes, with my mom and my kids on the great Texas trek where the air conditioning broke in the car.
96. Swam in the Great Salt Lake-Saw it, smelled it, but never swam in it.
97. Been involved in a lawsuit-Does it count if they sued our insurance company? The little girl across the street was bit by our dog.
98. Owned a cell phone- Yes, after we left the kids home alone and the roofers came to check something, climbing onto the roof while the kids cowered inside.
99. Been stung by a bee -- So many times. I love to go barefoot.
100. Read an entire book in one day-One of life's great pleasures.