Running Away

In the three novels I've written, the main characters all run away to try to solve their problems.
This week, I wish I were a character in my novels.
I'm fighting the urge to run away.
I know it's ridiculous...it's just that I'm so tired.
That sounds even more ludicrous if you knew that I woke up at 4 a.m. before finally getting up at 4:30, knowing I couldn't go back to sleep.
But I'm tired of worrying about paying for college.
I'm tired of trying to direct my teenagers down the right path when they keep taking left turns.
I'm tired of arguing with my teenagers about their choices.
I'm even tired of walking in the bathroom and seeing that the tissue box, which is supposed to sit on the back of the toilet tank is gone -- again!! Someone (a teenager?) confiscates the tissue box, smuggling it back to his/her room.
This week, I know that a check for about $1700 is coming our way. And I know that I should pay college bills and buy new tires for both cars. That is the sensible thing to do with the money.
But I can't help dreaming of taking that money and running away -- traveling somewhere, anywhere -- and leaving my worries behind.
Do you think they would follow me and be compounded by my guilt?
I can imagine myself on a beach in Florida.

Or maybe I could look out at the Mediterranean from a beach in Corsica.

Or maybe I could go sit in a cafe in Paris and just watch the people to forget about my worries.

 

What if you were getting some surprise money? Where would you run away too?

Worry Bubbles

Do you ever lie in bed when you should be sleeping and worry instead?
I was doing that yesterday morning. It was early, a time when I should still be sleeping when my eyes popped open. If I could manage to avoid letting thoughts take root, I could probably fall back to sleep. But my current worry was there waiting for me and, like a firework, it soared to the front of my brain ready to explode and drip slowly from the sky. As soon as I started to toss and turn, the younger cat moved from his place at my feet to nudge me with his head, to pounce on my hand if it moved beneath the blanket. I pushed him away and tried to return to sleep.

After a little while longer, I turned on my side and determined that I couldn't fix my current worry.
In my half sleepy state, I decided to let it go. A giant bluish white bubble floated away from me and the pestering cat. That was my worry floating away. I fell back to sleep.
Throughout the day though, I felt it coming back, and I reminded myself that I had let it go. Things would work out. That's hard though, for a control freak like me. I want to manipulate things until they fall into neat rows.
I pushed it away all day, but it was still there. I hadn't let it go, even as I tried to picture that bluish white bubble floating away each time.
A phone call from my mom early this morning as I stood in the coffee shop swept the worry away. I knew I shouldn't have held onto it.
How do you let go of worries when you don't have control?