Prom 2014

Last night was the final year I'll have to rent a tuxedo for prom. Yes, I'm happy about that because it is ridiculous to pay $145 to rent a suit for one night.
Maybe next year, when I have no children going to prom, I'll be nostalgic for prom.
Tucker is still asleep downstairs, but his few words of description assured us that he had a good time.
Before he left, we took a picture of him with Grace holding the cat up beside him.

The prom theme was masquerade, so Tucker ordered a mask online and reluctantly held it up for me to take a  picture. 

Tucker and his friend Alex met their dates at one of the girls' houses for pictures. As a man of few words, Tucker was reluctant to let me know where and what time pictures would be. I finally texted the mom of one of the girls and got to the picture house before Tucker did. 

I joked that Tucker is one of those people who believes that having his picture taken will steal his soul. I can't figure out why else he's so reluctant to have his picture taken. Luckily, in front of other people, he's willing to pose and stand still.

Here he is with is date Amelia. 

She had on a gorgeous red dress with turquoise jewelry. She rented the dress. She actually rented two dresses for $95 then decided which one to wear. She wore the dress by designer Badgley Mischka, which would probably have cost more than $1000 to buy. She rented from an online company called Rent the Runway. I think this is a great idea, although we always found dresses for Grace to buy that were less expensive than the tuxes we rent. 

The girls had some elaborate masks. Here's Tucker's friend Josie on the left and his date Amelia on the right.

Here are all the girls with their masks. I always love to see the girls' elaborate dresses.

And one more shot of Tucker and Amelia. 

I hope it was a senior prom to remember. 

Saturday Snapshot -- Tuxes

It's a gorgeous day here in Ohio, so I plan to go in search of spring flower photos.
It's prom day here, but the high school kids won't get dressed up until this evening. If I had a daughter going to prom, she might be going for a manicure or getting an updo on her hair.
Instead, my son is in the basement playing video games. His prom prep will probably consist of a second shower this evening before he throws on his tux and goes to pick up his date.
Hopefully, I'll have pictures to share next week.
Here's Tucker last year, posing with our cat Tybalt, who always has his tux on .

Tonight, Tucker will be wearing a black and white tuxedo too. 

Hope you are having a terrific weekend. 

The Pain of Renting a Tux with a Teenager

I have to accept that I'm an embarrassment to my 17-year-old, no matter where I go or what I do.
A few weeks ago, we went to Men's Wearhouse to pick out a tuxedo. We had a $40 off card for the tux rental.

Spencer and Tucker in their tuxes 2012

Tucker's date is wearing a navy and silver dress. We felt like that ruled out a black tux. He decided he wanted a white tux with a silver vest and a navy tie. The helpful woman pointed out two tuxes to choose from, both of them costing $124.99 for the overnight rental.
I couldn't really tell the difference. I let Tucker choose. After some measuring, we sat down to pay while they filled out the forms. When we got to the end, the woman said, "The total will be $156."
I was perplexed. $124.99 minus the $40 coupon should not be $156.
"Can you show me the breakdown to explain why it costs that much?" I asked.
Tucker, sitting in the chair beside me, just slunk down lower in his seat.
"Hmmm. Wait a minute," the woman said. She clicked a few things on her computer screen then excused herself, disappearing into a back room.

Tucker and Jordan in 2012

"Why do you even argue with them about the price?" Tucker asked. His fury quickly going from 0 to 100. "It never gets you anywhere. Just pay the price."
Much easier to say when you aren't the one paying.
I didn't bother explaining to Tucker that questioning the price was not the same thing as arguing.
When the woman came back, she said that the two white tuxes she'd shown us were not the same price. One was $149.99 and, of course, that was the one Tucker had chosen.
Since we couldn't tell a difference between the tuxes, I suggested we switch to the less expensive one and Tucker agreed, still squirming.
"Just pay the deposit and I'll fix all this in the computer later," the woman assured me.
Hmmm. Call me skeptical, but I doubted that it would get "fixed."
"Could you let me know the price once you get it taken care of?" I asked.
"Sure, I'll email you a copy," she said.
So I paid my $20 deposit and left.
The next day, I found the email with my receipt. The total was $156.
What? The exact same amount she told me the day before with the more expensive tux? Yep.
After I finished work that day, I stopped by the Men's Wearhouse to discuss tux prices.

Spencer and Claudia in 2011

The manager who looked up my account and explained that the woman who helped me the previous day was new. The manager promised she would change to the less expensive tux.
"Okay," she said, as she finished entering the information. The total then is $129.99."
"That's better," I said, "but I still don't understand how a $124.99 tux, with $40 off ends up being $129."
"Well," she explained, "the price we show you is really $30 off so with the $40 off coupon you only get another $10 off."
Hmmm.
"I'm pretty sure that's illegal," I told the woman. "I don't think the Ohio Attorney General would agree that is fair advertising."
Suddenly, the price reduced, plus she gave me an extra $20 off for the trouble of having to come in again to straighten out the problem. She said I would owe $81 plus tax when we picked up the tux.
And today, we went to get the tux.
If fit; it looked very white with the white shirt, white jacket, white pants, white shiny shoes. Tucker was practically ready to start work on an ice cream truck.
The efficient sales associate got the tux hung up in the black bag and we walked to the register.
"That'll be $111.81," the man said.
"Is that after my $20 deposit?" I asked the guy. Tucker's eyes rolled back into his head.
"The woman I talked to said I would owe $81 plus tax," I explained.
"What woman?" the sales associate asked.

Ty and Grace in 2009. The dress was much
less expensive than a tux, but I did have to
pay for the hair.

"This woman," I said pulling her card from my purse and setting it on the counter.
"Oh, she's with another customer. Wait just a minute and I'll get her."
We stepped aside to let the next customer pay.
"You can wait in the car," I told Tucker. He bolted from the store.
Several other families from Tucker's school came by paying for their tuxes while I waited. Finally the helpful woman walked to the register.
"The discount I put in the other day didn't save," she explained. As she corrected the price to $88, she apologized for the mix up again.
"No big deal, except I embarrassed my son again," I told her.
I paid and exited with the long black bag full of tux. As we pulled out of the parking lot, Tucker said, "Next year, I'll pay for my tux."
"I don't mind paying," I told him, "but I'm not just going to pay any price they say at the end if it doesn't match the price they showed us earlier."
"Whatever," he said.
I hope he saves a lot of money for next year's prom. I noticed that the boy behind him was paying $174, after his deposit.

Prom 2012

So after much boy drama, my boys are gone to prom and the house is quiet.
Here's Spencer, 18, and his date.

Here's Tucker, 16, and his date.

But I know everyone really wants to see what the girls are wearing to prom, so I'll include a few pictures of the group so you can see for yourself.

I'm pretty sure girls were not this beautiful when I was in high school.

And Grace went to formal last night, so here's a shot of lovely Grace in purple with a cute, dimpled date, Tom, standing in the scenic hallway. Well, I wasn't there to direct the pose.

Girl Complications

When Tucker started high school, just two years after his older brother Spencer, I worried. I had a little talk with Spencer about not dating Tucker's friends or ex-girlfriends. I didn't want it to be awkward with the older high school boy swooping down on the younger girls. Well, I didn't think to give the opposite warning, which is why we're now in an difficult girl complication at my house.
Nearly a month ago, Tucker, who just turned 16, came home and said he was going to the prom with Jordan. Jordan's a senior, 18, and the ex-girlfriend of one of Spencer's best friends. Awkward.
At first, I thought, "No big deal. It's just prom."
Then I started getting the texts, "Be home in a minute. Had to walk Jordan home." Or in response to my "Where are you text?" he might respond, "At the park with Jordan."

Tucker getting fitted for his tux.

Not that long ago, Spencer was reminiscing about his friendship with Jordan and how strange it felt to hardly know her now. She was one of those girls who started dating older boys in high school and she grew away from Spencer and his friends.
When he found out that Tucker was going to the prom with Jordan, he said he didn't blame Tucker for going to prom with her because she's "a hot senior girl."
Then he added, "I don't want Tucker bringing her here to hang out. That would be weird."
Tucker always brings his girlfriends to hang out at our house. We've got a TV and Xbox in the basement. They sit on bean bag chairs or the futon. Earl and I put in lots of loads of laundry trying to keep an eye on them.
I agreed to Spencer's conditions because I didn't want to make him uncomfortable.
Then Spencer and Earl left for a week on Spring Break. Tucker stayed home because of track practice, and he asked if he could have Jordan over. Since Spencer was gone, I said yes. And most nights, Tucker and Jordan hung out at our house for awhile.
When she came in, she'd talk about track practice or prom plans. One night she sat with me a few minutes watching Long Island Medium while Tucker cleaned up in the basement, throwing away chip bags and empty Gatorade bottles.
At first it just felt uncomfortable to have Tucker dating this older girl, but now I hear them laughing together and I feel like Tucker has been good for her. She has seemed really sad and searching whenever I saw her the past couple of years. She seems more comfortable in her own skin. So maybe dating Tucker helps her feel more confident. But I still have the Spencer issue and he did have to return from vacation eventually.
"Mom, can I have Jordan over?" Tucker asked.
"Oooh. Spencer is going to be home by 9:30 so you'd have to walk Jordan home at 9," I said, feeling like I'm in a Cary Grant movie where someone leaves by the back door as someone else is coming in the front door.
"How about 9:15?" Tucker asked. Then he stopped. "Never mind. 9 is good. I can't believe I said 9:15. That would just be so weird."
So far, I've managed for Spencer to avoid running into Jordan at our house. But if the relationship continues, I don't know how I'll continue the juggling.
And next week at prom, they're all bound to run into each other.
Yesterday, Spencer and two friends were in the kitchen eating pizza when Tucker and I left to order his tux.

Spencer and Claudia going to prom last year.

Spencer's friend Dillon asked, "Who you going to prom with Tucker?"
Of course, Hayden, Spencer's friend who used to date Jordan, was right there in the kitchen too.
"Jordan," Tucker said. And Dillon swallowed the pink lemonade in a gulp.
"Wow," Dillon said.
"Yeah, he outdid me this year," Spencer said as we walked out the door.
I'm just not cut out for this life sneaking around and trying to keep different factions separated. I thought boys would be less complicated than girls, but maybe it's the other people's daughters who make it so complicated for me.

The Male Perspective on Prom

The funny thing was at 4 p.m., when Grace's friend Deidre showed up to have her makeup done, Spencer hadn't even showered yet. He was chilling with some friends. Deidre's nails and hair had been done. Glitter spritzed her face and the poofy part of her hair. Grace gave her smokey eyes before taking her home so she didn't muss her prom preparedness.

Spencer hopped in the shower at 5. His tux was hanging on the closet door. The orchid corsage for his date was in refrigerator. The prom tickets were in his wallet.
I took a few pictures of him alone before he left, but couldn't get a genuine smile out of him.
The minute he got to his date, he relaxed, as if the anticipation was much worse than the actual experience.
When Grace went to prom, we had the advantage that her date came here so we could get some photos of the two of them together. Earl and I skulked over to Claudia's house, hoping to snag some photos of the two of them before the big crowd arrived. Too late. 12 couples and most of their parents came to take pictures.
Here's a picture of the whole group so you can see how diverse the girls' dresses were.
That's Spencer in the center towering over everyone else and his date slightly to the right of him in the photo.
Here's my favorite picture of Spencer and his date Claudia.

All 24 kids paid $17 each to ride on this "Party Bus." It took them to dinner then to the prom at Franklin Park Conservatory.

We didn't hear from the kids again until AfterProm where Earl and I were chaperoning. Spencer and friends played basketball while the girls sat in groups talking. Baskets overflowed with food -- Chipotle, pizza, fruit, chips, baked goods. I stayed until 2 and Earl closed down the place at 3:30 when all the kids were shipped home.

Formal Dances

I was working at my computer in my office (hallway) when Spencer came in from school yesterday a little later than usual.
"Hey. Where've you been?" I asked.
"Working on bio," he said. He's taking a biology 2 class, which isn't as challenging as his chemistry class.
"Good day?" I asked, my eyes half on the computer screen where I was grading papers.
"I got a date to prom," he said.
That got my attention.
Then Earl walked up and asked if Spencer would help him move something heavy at the neighbor's house.
"Who is it?" I asked as they walked toward the back door.
"Claudia," he said as they left. She's a girl his age. One of those startlingly pretty girls who didn't seem to exist when I was in high school, but who seem to fill the halls these days.
I wanted more details but I would have to move slowly rather than bombarding him with questions.
A few details trickled out. They were leaving bio after school when he asked her.
"Did you feel like Harry Potter?" I asked.
He smiled. My family has read and listened to Harry Potter enough that he knew exactly which scene I meant.
The scene in Goblet of Fire where Harry has to have a date for the ball. He blurts out to Cho Chang, "Would you go to ball with me?" running all the words together so she can't understand him. I can hear the voice of Jim Dale, the Harry Potter narrator, saying the words.
Spencer smiled. "It's embarrassing, but that's just what I was thinking."
But, her friends had already let him know that Claudia would go to the prom with him, so he wasn't as nervous as Harry Potter must have been.
The experience made me think back to my own prom days.
When I was a sophomore, I was a last minute date for a guy named Brad whose date got sick. I wore a cream-colored dress with ribbon straps on the shoulders, and Brad brought me wrist corsage of white carnations tipped in brown. I know. Couldn't we just have waited a few days for them to wilt to get the tipped in brown look?
We lived in a small town about 30 minutes from Cincinnati, so the prom was held at a fancy hotel in Cincinnati. I don't remember where the after prom was, but I know Brad asked me if I wanted to start dating. I can't remember if I said yes or no, but we didn't after that anyway.
Then my junior year I went to prom with one of my best friends, Bobby. When I couldn't find a prom dress I liked, my mom made me a dress of dusty rose material. It has a drapy look over the front and Mom, following the pattern, had to put a weight in the material to get it to drape correctly.

Here we are sitting on the couch for a prom photo. Love the hair -- both of us with our wings flying out. Isn't he a cutie!

We were driving to Cincinnati for prom and first went through the drive-through at McDonalds to buy Cokes to mix with the rum we had brought along. We were such bad teenagers. A lot of the couples got rooms at the hotel where we had the prom. They were even naughtier teenagers.
Going with my friend Bobby was much more fun than an actual date and he kissed me at the door as the sun rose.
That afternoon, for the AfterProm, we all went canoeing. Bobby canoed us right under a tree where a snake was dangling from a branch and I screamed at him. He continued to be my friend for years after that.
I graduated after my junior year, so I never went back for a senior prom.
Do you have any fun or horrible prom memories? Do they have prom where you live?

Life With Boys

My life is so different now that my daughter has gone away to college. Here's just one example.
In the car the other day, Spencer and his friend Dakota were in the backseat on the way home from an AAU basketball game.
"So are you going to prom, Dakota?" I asked.
"I don't know. Probably." Dakota looks to Spencer and they both shrug.
Spencer, who has heard this question before, adamantly said no to prom about a month ago. "Why would I spend that much money if I'm not dating someone?" he asked.
Last week he said, "Maybe" lilting his voice up at the end, which means there's a girl he may want to ask, although he would die rather than tell me who.
My friend Stephanie told me her daughter's prom is in two weeks, so I asked the boys if they were running out of time.
"When is the prom anyway?" I asked.
They both looked blankly at each other. They had no clue.
Last year, the minute spring musical wrapped up, we were ankle deep in prom preparations. Dresses were chosen and shoes admired. Hairstyles considered and flowers ordered. The date, the group, the dinner, all were in order long before the prom tickets were printed. That's how it goes with girls.
With boys, the pace is a little slower.
I wouldn't be surprised if prom came and went with the boys not even noticing that it had passed. But I plan to pressure Spence a little bit to ask a girl his age, rather than the freshman and sophomores who flock around the upperclassmen; a tall girl who might not get to wear heals unless she goes with a tall guy like Spence. Okay, I already have a girl in mind who he was texting the other day -- not that it means anything. They all text each other constantly.
I imagine if he does ask someone, we'll be scurrying to find a corsage and to buy black dress shoes that will match his tux.
I went to the school website this morning and learned that the prom isn't until the middle of May. We have plenty of time -- in boy time, that is. In girl time, we would already be in panic mode at the lack of a date.

Let's Dance

When our French friend Marie visited, we found out that things we take for granted are really foreign in other countries. She was flabbergasted to learn that high schools actually had musicals. She couldn't believe that marching bands actually existed. I'm not sure what she would have said about prom.
So, how to explain prom to those who aren't familiar with it. It's a dance - a formal dance for juniors and seniors in high school. That means most of them are 17 or 18, but they can invite the younger high schoolers.. The kids get dressed up. The girls have manicures and sometimes pedicures and sometimes up-dos for their hair. Some groups of kids will rent limousines and travel to prom in style. All the better to drink and not get caught drunk driving. But those were the kinds of things I thought about during prom.
Here's a picture of Grace and me, her short mother, without a fancy dress or an up-do. Her dress was fairly risque, but she loved it and she looked gorgeous.
Grace and her date went to prom with a fairly innocent group. Her date Sean is a very nice guy who she knew she could count on to dance. A lot of high school guys are uncomfortable dancing. And the best thing about Sean is that he is 6-feet, 3-inches tall, so Grace could wear heels and not tower over him. You can see from this group picture that she and Sean are by far the tallest.
After the parents insisted on interminable pictures, the group went to dinner at Buca di Beppa then to the dance. According to Grace, the music wasn't great and there were way too many slow songs rather than dance songs. After prom ends at midnight, they all go to afterprom, which was held at the Ohio State rec center. It includes basketball courts and big fields of turf, a climbing wall, movie rooms, and a place for card games. Those are the things I know about. The kids stayed there until 3:30 a.m. Then they all went to a friend's house and crashed on couches and chairs and the floors.
They fixed breakfast this morning -- bacon pancakes, and some of them still appeared perky after so little sleep, and a little ice cream cake to give them a sugar rush.

Livin' the High Life

Here's Grace coming home from her usual Sunday afternoon outing.

Well, truthfully, it was a special occasion in celebration of her friend Anna's 16th birthday. Her parents rented a limo to take 16 of them out to dinner. They drove around Ohio State and "partied" according to Grace. To clarify what this meant, I asked, and she explained they danced in their seats. She's a wild one, my oldest daughter.
But limos are a reminder that the prom season is sneaking up on us, so while I was shopping for vacation clothes yesterday, Grace searched for a prom dress and found this one.

I thought that it was too risque and that she was bound to feel exposed. The v is criss crossed with ties, but comes down well below the place a bra should be. She said she didn't feel exposed.
Her friend Emily pointed out that some boys might see down the neckline.
"Who'll see it besides boys who are actually taller than me?" she asked. Then ticked off on her fingers who that would be: "Jude, Chase, Sean."
After she'd tried on a dozen dresses, she returned to this green one.
"I really like this one," she said.
"You smiled the whole time you had it on," Emily added.
Now that's a good friend. The one who notices what makes you happy. I paid for the dress and took it home while the girls continued their shopping adventure. They didn't come home in a limo, but Em's Volvo isn't bad transportation.