Happenings

How can life always be hectic?
It isn't always. My morning runs are very slow, so I guess that's the time that I get to pace myself.
On Tuesday, as I ran down the street early, a mother raccoon and four baby raccoons crossed the street in front of me and disappeared down the storm sewer.
Of course, by the time I got  my phone out, they had already disappeared, but one little guy stuck his head back out.

My parents visited from Florida this week. Spending time with them is usually laid back. Mom and I made strawberry jam one afternoon.  Dad watched lots of sports on TV and we attended the Memorial Day parade.
We took some family photos.

We visited with my brother and his wife. Grace is holding their dog, Jasper. 

And I found time to go out for a drink with my hardworking newsman after he spent a long day covering a trial.

Hope everyone else has a hectic, happening life with lots of joy.

Lessons From a Grownup Child

No matter my age, when I visit my parents, I'm a child. So I should have anticipated that there would be some resistance to a trip where I planned to help them out. 

Dad has had an ongoing battle with a wound on his foot that won't heal. This follows on the tracks of sciatic pain and a bout of salmonella that sent him to the hospital. It has definitely been a challenging year for him at age 78. 

The sore on his foot is a problem because he is diabetic. They're going to do surgery to unclog some arteries so he gets better circulation and meanwhile, he's spending two hours, five days a week in a hyperbaric oxygen chamber, or as I tell the kids, the chamber of secrets. 

Mom and Dad are reluctant to accept my help. Dad wants to hold the door for me when we get in the car. Mom wants to make me a protein shake after I run. 

They apologized a dozen times that I had to take the trash out. 

I drove Dad to the chamber yesterday while Mom played golf. She was meeting us at the doctor. 

Although Dad claimed he could get changed on his own, stretching his shorts over the cast and pulling on scrubs before putting the walking boot back on, he seemed agitated when mom showed up. He wouldn't let me help him get changed. 

The one thing I've learned is that if I want to be helpful then I just need to do whatever my parents want. Church where the prayer includes comments about the election and "taking our country back" -- no problem. Switching to the lane Dad suggests and driving at the speed he usually drives at -- okay. Leaving an hour early for a doctor appointment that is 30 minutes away -- I'm ready. 

Drink a protein shake, eat the melon they left out for me -- I'll try to just smile and go along with it. 

Going to the oxygen treatment turns out to be a 4-hour odyssey. But they're both being fairly calm about it, and truthfully, they don't need my help. I just want to feel useful, as if I can take some of their burden away. 

So while Dad was in the oxygen treatment today, Mom and I went to have our nails done. 

And this morning after I ran, I enjoyed a dip in the pool. 

I've gotten to spend good time with both of them, so maybe that's the most I can hope for. 

Busy Family Gatherings

This week, I had a lovely visit with my parents.
So I haven't blogged all week and I'm way behind on my grading.
Still, it's nice to take a break. To just be in the moment. To laugh and remember. To take some walks. To talk about making jam, but then decide not to.

This is a good picture of us, even though my eyes are closed!

We thought they might not be able to make the trip up from Florida, which is about 1000 miles away, when Dad went into the hospital the week before. He'd been sick and Mom and the doctors thought it was from being on antibiotics which upset his digestive system. They went to the ER, he had some fluids pumped into him and he went back home.
Then that night, as he continued to be sick, he got up to go to the bathroom and nearly passed out. Mom call the ambulance and they took Dad to the hospital. He stayed for four days and in the end they realized that he had salmonella poisoning.
I know how I feel after a stomach virus, so I urged Mom to take Dad home and rest for a few days before they made the drive to Ohio. I looked up airfares and tried to convince them to fly instead.
I wasn't really surprised when I received a text from Mom that said Dad was out of the hospital, and they were driving north.
They didn't even wait a day.
Like independent teenagers, they took no advice from me.
But I was so happy to see them and spend time with them.

My brothers and me

My brother from Texas flew to Ohio so that he could be here for my mother's family reunion. She's the youngest of nine children. Five of them are still alive, with the oldest being 95.

Mom wanted all three of her children at the reunion, so we were.
Mom and Dad were here at my house on Monday when Grace flew home from Europe, so that added to the joy of the week.

Tucker made several visits to eat dinner with us while Mom and Dad were here.

Grace snuggling with her Nena.

Now, I'd better get busy grading papers. It should fill my weekend, with just one brief foray to the Columbus Art's Festival where Grace will be doing a scene with the cast of Hamlet. She plays Gertrude, Hamlet's mother. It's a stretch, but that's why she's expert at makeup.
Happy weekend to everyone.
I'm joining West Metro Mommy for this weekly meme of photos people have taken and share on their blogs.

The College Race

I'm ignoring my blog this week as I rush to get my boys ready for college. Yesterday morning, I was just shaking my head. The boys might be feeling a little angst, but that is not translating into getting prepared. I made a list for them and told them to go to the store. They couldn't find the car keys. Tucker remembered having them the night before at a celebration. He immediately got on his phone and started texting to see if anyone had seen the keys. I told the boys to take the other car to the store. They left then a minute later reappeared. They had forgotten the list and the gift card they were supposed to use at the store.

New shoes are a necessity.

This kind of thing went on all day with just flustered activity here and there. We had a steak dinner and I planned it for 6 because Earl was supposed to be at a meeting at 7. But, he didn't get home from work in time to join us. We figured no big deal since Spencer is only going to be an hour and a half awainstead of a thousand miles away. I take Spencer down to college today so he can go through orientation. Then Tucker moves in tomorrow. The hectic will be replaced by an eerie quiet, I suspect. Hope you all are having peaceful weeks.

Dragged Into Social Media

My kids have forced me to enter the 21st century with social media.
I check my Facebook most days and post on there at least once a week now. And last week I set up an Instagram account. Joining each community can be laid at the feet of my children's travel and  independence.
I joined Facebook in August 2010 as Grace journeyed 10 hours away to college. I wanted to be able to keep up with her posts and her friends. I still wanted to keep an eye on her.
Luckily, she didn't mind adding me as her friend.
Slowly I've added friends and when I got my iPhone, I found it easy to check Facebook, like other people's posts, and add my own "status updates."
My middle child doesn't have a Facebook page, and my youngest wouldn't add me as a friend, but he isn't active on Facebook any more. Now he's all over Instagram.
As he prepared to leave for a trip to France, I realized that if I wanted to see his pictures, I'd need to follow him on Instagram.
To me, the worst part about setting up an account for Instagram or Twitter or even Words With Friends, is choosing a user name. I know I'm going to be stuck with this name forever. Should I choose my name? Something I like -- writing, running, mochas? I avoided all "mom" names.
Tucker begrudgingly added me as a friend on Instagram and has posted sparsely this week from his trip abroad. Heer's on that he tagged: "Average night on the Eiffel Tower." And I note how "miserable" he looks surrounded by high school girls.
I have a couple of people following me on Instagram, but I haven't posted anything and don't know when I will.
For now though, I'm on Instagram and Facebook getting hints into the secret lives of my teenagers.

Paying for College

Of course it happened. Spencer fell in love with a college and it happens to be the most expensive. Not the most expensive overall, but the most expensive as far as what they've offered us.
Paying for college is complicated. For a middle class family like us, a public university is going to give us no financial aid help, but the students can take out about $6000 in loans each year. They don't have to start paying until they are finished with college.
So here in Ohio, the public universities cost about $20,000 per year with tuition, room and board. Take off the $6000 loan and we have to pay $14,000 per year for a public university.
The private universities cost a lot more on paper. The two that Spencer is looking at cost $47,000 or $43,000 per year. (Grace's private university is up to $54,000.) They offer Dean Scholarships and President Grants, reducing the cost. But they also take into account the $6000 loan. So our total cost with one of the colleges is $18,000 and with Spencer's favorite it is $19,999.50. Could they just round it up to $20,000? I mean, really!
Sigh.
Maybe, if we scrimped a lot, we could pay $20,000 a year for Spencer's college. But, we already have another kid in college and we don't get to cut her off to pay for Spencer's college.
There's a form families fill out -- FAFSA. It's the government Financial Aid form. The form takes into account how much we make and how many kids we have in college.
The form says that we should pay $9053 per year for Grace and $8000 for Spencer. But colleges use that as a guide. They're happy to suggest we take out a parent loan for the remainder.
The problem with the parent loan, of course, is that the parents have to start paying on that right away, so parents are trying to pay for their kids' college plus trying to stay on top of their loan payments, plus trying to live life with the other kid at home.
I'm already working two jobs, so it gets a little discouraging.
Maybe I'll follow Stephen Colbert's example and start a SuperPac -- "Creating a better tomorrow, tomorrow for Spencer" so that I can collect money to pay for his college.

Moseying Along To School

I drove Tucker to school this morning since Spencer went early. On the way home, I stopped to get a gallon of milk, which put me driving through the neighborhoods smack dab in the middle of elementary school time.
Our high school and middle school start at 8 a.m. while the elementary kids begin at 8:10 a.m. That gives parents time to get kids to both schools if they need to.
In our little burg, we don't have any school buses. Everyone can walk or bike to school. For the high school age kids, of course, most of them drive so they can be cool, and sleep in later.
It struck me as I saw all the parents walking to school with their elementary-aged children: Walking to school with little kids takes a long time.

My kids didn't go to school when they were that age, and I always said the best thing about homeschooling was not having to get out of the door in the morning to get somewhere.

I don't think I saw one parent and child combo actually making progress. They were stopped waiting for the dog. Or the kid was in a yard looking at flowers. Another kid knelt down on the sidewalk tying his shoe. Another kid was pointing up in a tree.
The parents stood on the sidewalk, their shoulders slumped in defeat, realizing that a beautiful spring day was no time to hurry along curious children.
The shortest distance between two points (home and school) is not a straight line for most little kids.
I guess the parents know that the walk to school will be more like a mosey, or a treasure hunt.
That's a hard lesson, but a good one, for those of us who are always in a hurry. We need to stop and smell the daffodils before they're gone.

Strange Signs

We just got back from a long and delicious dinner at a friend's house. I'll tell you all about it tomorrow, since it's after midnight here which means I'm nearly a pumpkin.
I saw this sign yesterday and couldn't figure out what it meant. (Ignore the graffiti. I'm talking about why the state or the city would put up a sign like this.)



Why would it have a line drawn through a parent and child holding hands? The other side of the sign clued me in on the way back. Does anyone have any guesses?