The Impending Nuptials

It's a funny thing when your daughter is getting married. People ask if you like the groom.

An early photo shoot with a wolf

I'm not sure if they do that when it's your son, because my sons have not gotten married yet.
But the first question from people when we tell them our daughter is getting married is "What do you think of the groom?"
They ask as if he hasn't already become a part of our family, which he has.
Are there people who dis their daughter's soon-to-be husband?
I fear the answer is yes. 
There are many qualities one could look for in a husband for your daughter -- maybe he could be rich, or have a status job, or be a brainiac. Maybe he could be royalty or be famous. Maybe he could be as beautiful as the morning. Maybe he could be handy and fix our cars or take care of all our IT problems. Jack might have some or none of those qualities as they get married.
But the one quality that Jack has that can't be compromised on is love.
We have no doubt how much he loves Grace.
And, in the end, that is the one quality that cannot be missing in a marriage.

Dreaming of France -- Romance for Valentine's Day

Thank you for joining this weekly meme. Grab a copy of the photo above and link back to An Accidental Blog. Share with the rest of us your passion for France. Did you read a good book set in France? See a movie? Take a photo in France? Have an adventure? Eat a fabulous meal or even just a pastry? Or if you're in France now, go ahead and lord it over the rest of us. We can take it.

As Valentine's Day winds down, I can't help but think of how romantic France is. People fall in love with each other, with the idea of love, or with the country itself.

Being in love in France is easy. We're on vacation. We're doing the things that we both love, eating fabulous meals, seeing amazing sights. 

Here we are in front of the Eiffel Tower in 2010.

Okay, this picture was in Venice in 2006, but our trip was bookended with travel in France.

And here we are in our much talked about bicycle trip through Provence. I'll have to say that during this trip I had some questions about how strong our marriage was, but France helped us to find our center again. 

Love and France go together. I hope you all have a chance to experience love in France, but at least love.

Thanks so much for playing along with Dreaming of France. I'd appreciate if you'd leave a comment and visit the blogs of others who decide to play along too. That way, we can all experience the joy and beauty of France. 

12 Days of Appreciation -- Day 7

Love.
Obviously, I married my husband 25 years ago, after two years of dating, so we love each other.
At the time we married, I realized that I loved him in a soaring, unconditional way that he might not have reciprocated. He loved me, but it was more tempered.
He has told me since then that he couldn't imagine life without me. So we married.
But today, I can unequivocally say that he loves "me more today than yesterday, but not as much as tomorrow...." My husband loves me more now than he did on the day of our wedding.

And that's a beautiful thing.

Saturday Snapshot -- Love

Join West Metro Mommy for this weekly meme of photos people have taken and share on their blogs.
Of course, everyone is celebrating Valentine's Day, but when you're two, love is a much simpler concept.
This week, I babysat for my  nieces and I took them suckers -- Tootsie Pops, to be precise.
Little Regan was thrilled with her orange Tootsie Pop.
"I love my sucker!" she said as she hugged it to her.

Ah, if only love were as simple as it is with a two-year-old.

Happy Father's Day

An Open Letter to My Dad:
Dad,

On a trip to California when I was 18 and Kevin was 16
. Look how buffyou were. And I was a brat on this trip. 

From my earliest memories, you have always tried to make me happy -- from buying me sweet tarts at the bowling alley as a kid to telling me a boy wasn't worth my time in my teenage years to watching my kids while I flew off to France as an adult.
I can't think of anything I've wanted to do that you haven't supported.
And because you always thought I could accomplish whatever I wanted, I did too. I didn't know to be afraid to try new things
I guess you are the definition of unconditional love.

At my wedding. You looking dapper in your gray tux.

You gave me the strength to move around the country to various jobs, to travel to amazing places around the world. Your support provided the gumption to raise three kids homeschooling them and to finish that first novel and see you hold it in your hands.
I'm not saying you always approved of what I did or that I didn't disappoint you or get on your nerves. That California trip for one... but even when I made mistakes, I knew they didn't change the way you felt about me.
There aren't many people in the world who offer unconditional love. I guess I'm kind of naive because I thought that a mom and dad always offered unconditional love to their kids. But as I ventured out into the world, I learned that wasn't true. I guess I'm one of the lucky ones to have a dad like you.
Happy Father's Day.

With my three kids when they were little and they
already knew what a great father and granddad you were.

Short Story Available

I'm so excited to announce the publication of my short story, "French Masquerade" on Kindle.
I probably wouldn't be nearly as excited if not for the adorable cover, made possible due to the great photograph by Linda Mathieu on Frenchless in France.

Here's the description of the story:

As Joanna’s only son graduates and her marriage stumbles to an unexpected close, an old friend drags her to Paris to drown her sorrows in wine, museums and men with accents. Can the City of Light ignite a spark in Joanna or only torch songs from her younger days? 

I hope you all will consider downloading my short story. It's only 99 cent on Amazon Kindle.
And please, let me know what you think.

Book Trailer

I have a new book trailer for my novel I See London I See France.
I hope you'll watch it and maybe click on "like" too to help me promote my book.

Another Book for Francophiles -- Like Me

I really enjoyed the book The French for Love by Fiona Valpy. I read it all in one day rather than grading papers or preparing for classes or doing laundry for my son who goes back to college next week.
 Gina, the main character, lives in the UK and is in her late 20s. Major life changes in the past year spin her into a whirlwind. Her father died, her favorite aunt who lived in France died, her live-in boyfriend left her for another woman, and she lost her job as a wine purchaser for a small wine shop.
When her aunt leaves the French house to Gina, she decides to move to France. Well, the word "love" is in the title, so you can guess that there is a hunky Frenchman involved. But the book goes deeper than that too as she learns a secret about her aunt and has to choose between love and career.
Since the main character knows a lot about wine, I found myself longing for a glass of wine throughout the book. I wanted to join in.
I like that the main character is strong, and parts of the book remind me of a Victorian novel in that many of the confusions come from simply not talking about the problem.  
I'd probably give this book a 4.5 out of 5.

First Paragraph, Tuesday Teaser -- Dolci di Love

Every Tuesday, Diane at Bibliophile by the Sea posts the first paragraph of her current read. Anyone can join in. Go to Diane's website for the image and share the first paragraph of the current book you are reading.
This is kind of cheating because I finished the book already, but I enjoyed it and wanted to share it with you.
Dolci di Love by Sarah-Kate Lynch (was there ever a less Italian-sounding name?) is about a woman who lives in Manahattan and discovers that her husband has another family hidden in Tuscany. So she travels there and her life changes in some surprising ways. Here's the intro.

Daniel's other woman and two bright-eyed beautiful children were sitting under the insole of his left golf shoe when Lily first found them. They were laminated.

 Also this week is Teaser Tuesdays.

Teaser Tuesdays is a weekly bookish meme, hosted by MizB of Should Be Reading. Anyone can play along! Just do the following:

Grab your current read
Open to a random page
Share two (2) “teaser” sentences from somewhere on that page
BE CAREFUL NOT TO INCLUDE SPOILERS! (make sure that what you share doesn’t give too much away! You don’t want to ruin the book for others!)
Share the title & author, too, so that other TT participants can add the book to their TBR Lists if they like your teasers.
Here's a teaser from Dolci di Love on page 49:

It was the babies' fault. Those smiling, pink-cheeked, plump, sweet-smelling babies with whom she had never been blessed. Their absence had just sapped the pant-peeing happiness right out of her. That's where the laughter had gone.

I enjoyed this book a lot as a summer read, even though it deals with relationships, aging, parenting, disappointment, lots of important issue. I mean, it was set in Tuscany, so what was not to like.

Mother's Day Flowers

The irises are in full bloom at my house. Many of them have simply fallen over on their long stems.
These irises came from my mother's house in Kentucky. I'm not sure where they might have been planted before then. She lives in Florida now and the irises do not like the climate there, so I thought I'd send her one on my blog.
The irises are just one of the gifts she has given me that continues to bloom every year.
Happy Mother's Day!

First Paragraph Tuesdays -- Hector and the Secrets of Love

Every Tuesday, Diane at Bibliophile by the Sea posts the first paragraph of her current read. Anyone can join in. Go to Diane's website for the image and share the first paragraph of the current book you are reading.

Yesterday was a good day because I spent time browsing at both the library and Barnes and Noble. I came across this curious little book and I have started to read it. Hector and the Secrets of Love by Francois Lelord
has a funny cartoon character man on the front. Hector is a psychiatrist, and according to the book jacket, he travels the world on behalf of a pharmaceutical company to find a scientist who discovered the molecule that makes people fall in love.
Here's the first paragraph, plus a little more:

"All we have to say to him is: 'My dear doctor, you're going to help us discover the secret of love.' I'm sure he'll consider it a very noble mission."
"Do you think he's up to it?"
"Yes, I do."
"He'll need persuading -- you have the necessary funds."
"The most important thing, I think, is to make him feel he'll be doing something worthwhile."
"So we'll need to tell him everything?"
"Yes. Well, not everything, if you see what I mean."
"I understand."
The two men in grey suits were talking late at night in a big office at the top of a tall building. Through the picture windows the bright city lights shone as far as the eye could see, but they didn't take any notice of them.
Instead they looked at some photographs they had taken from a file. They were glossy portraits of a youngish man with a preoccupied air.
"Psychiatrist, what a strange occupation!" said the older man. "I wonder how anyone can stand it."
"Yes, I wonder, too."
The younger man, a tall, strapping fellow with cold eyes, replaced all the photos in the file, which was marked "Dr. Hector."

I don't know about you, but I'm just drawn to this book.

Treasuring Memories of Mom

Today is Mother's Day. I'm not sure why we decided to have a day to honor mothers. In a lot of societies, mothers are revered every day. Here, I think it kind of depends on how much respect a mother demands.
For me, even though Earl declared it Mother's Day weekend, starting Friday with lunch out, I've felt a little lonely for my mother, who lives in Florida, and for my daughter, who's at college in New York.
Don't get me wrong. I've been wined and dined and gifted. When one of my sons woke me at 3 a.m. after a bad dream, he remembered to tell me Happy Mother's Day in the middle of the night. I got flowers from my daughter, good smelling Aveda products from my husband and sons, and a mustard-yellow fondue pot from my oldest son who went to the garage sales yesterday. I had coffee with friends, went to a writing conference, attended dance class with my husband and stopped for drinks on an outdoor terrace in the sunshine. I have no reason to complain about the amount of attention I received on Mother's Day.
I have been thinking, however, about what makes a good mother. Some days, I know I'm a good mother. Other days, I don't quite reach that high bar.
What I have decided is that everything good I know about being a mother, I learned from my mother.

Here she is young and in love with my dad.

Some of the snapshots I have in my mind are the tough times my mom overcame, raising four little kids and crying into a dish towel. Then I think of her jumping rope with us in the slanted driveway with her teased hairdo.
She finished college while raising four children. She worked full time as a teacher. She took kids to baseball and basketball and brownies. I remember every time she raised her voice at us, because it happened so rarely.
I remember my mom being calm, and mostly loving us more than anything else. And that's what I tried to give my kids.

Here's a picture of mom and dad with my two brothers and me at Christmas time.

I haven't always been the best wife, and sometimes I've jumped off the cliff of crazy mothering, but most of the time, I've tried to accept my kids for who they are and let them know that I love them.
This mom experiment is still under way for me, but for my mom, I just want you to know that you did a great job. I always felt loved. I always felt that no matter how I messed up, I could talk to you about and you would tell me that everything would turn out okay. And it has.
Thanks, Mom.

Non-Romantic Valentine's Day

Sometimes the stone of family obligations starts rolling and it's impossible to stop it. That was our Valentine's Day.
We missed our dance class, where we were learning how to "hover" in fox trot and waltz. But we knew ahead of time that romance wasn't on our calendar today.
We went out for lunch on Friday in a pre-emptive attempt at romance, but the martini which mixed some sort of hazelnut liquor with kahlua did not sit well. It tasted good, like a Nutella martini, but I felt awful the rest of the day. I only ordered a martini because Earl wanted me to "relax." So that didn't work.
I looked half-heartedly for a Valentine card to give Earl. He finds romantic cards for me. They are always blank and he writes heartfelt sentiments about how he's so glad he found me. Well...I'm not doing them justice.
I made him vow that this year we weren't giving gifts or cards. I couldn't add something else to my list of things to do.
This morning, as the merest of Valentine gifts, I slept in until 7. I looked in his eyes and said if I'd found him a card, I would have written: "Thank you for making every day special, for doing things that will make me happy not just on Valentine's Day, but every day."
Even if our Valentine's Day is not romantic and special, we're counting on all those other days of the year when we have a chance to sneak away for a meal or a drink or just a walk in the sunshine.
Happy Valentine's Day, Earl.