tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-32469880.post6075940845463436834..comments2024-02-19T03:31:23.742-05:00Comments on An Accidental Blog: Sticks and Stones and SiblingsPaulita http://www.blogger.com/profile/14237320966048538408noreply@blogger.comBlogger6125tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-32469880.post-73457856682038852062017-06-07T05:55:59.430-04:002017-06-07T05:55:59.430-04:00Shelagh, I'm so happy for you that you have a ...Shelagh, I'm so happy for you that you have a close relationship with your brothers. It probably made it difficult for you to understand your husband's decision to skip his uncle's funeral. Thanks for sharing.<br />Just Me, What a beautiful way to think of your mother's illness as something that brought you and your siblings closer together. I hope you make that connection you hope for. And thanks for your empathy. It felt a little personal as I wrote it, but needed to come out. Paulita https://www.blogger.com/profile/14237320966048538408noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-32469880.post-56808094550667239102017-06-06T16:58:21.837-04:002017-06-06T16:58:21.837-04:00Paulita I'm so sorry for your pain and admire ...Paulita I'm so sorry for your pain and admire your ability to write about it. There are five kids in my family. We've never been very close. The only thing to ever bring us all together was my mother being in a nursing home with Alzheimer's. It was such an unexpected gift. Now she's gone and we've each scattered back to our separate corners. I've been thinking about it a lot lately and hoping I can reach out and rekindle my relationship with each of them, not sure how. Thank you for sharing.Just Mehttps://www.blogger.com/profile/10622815935514628163noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-32469880.post-61907173605675412262017-06-06T11:23:41.073-04:002017-06-06T11:23:41.073-04:00How very sad. Just last week my older brother flew...How very sad. Just last week my older brother flew into Vancouver early so he could spend a few days with us before flying onto Victoria. While here my younger brother from Toronto flew in a early, cancelled his meetings and arranged to meet up and take us all out for dinner. I guess I am a very lucky girl. Recently my husband's uncle died and up to the very day of the funeral I thought we would attend, and at the last moment my hisband said no way. Lots of bad blood that could not be swept away just because someone died. We have a saying that you can not pick your family but you can pick your friends and they in the end become your family. Anonymoushttps://www.blogger.com/profile/04340754457769990679noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-32469880.post-12723301142041718012017-06-06T09:29:14.262-04:002017-06-06T09:29:14.262-04:00France taste, I feel for you too. Losing your pare...France taste, I feel for you too. Losing your parents and then this political rift. Thanks for sharing. It helps to know I'm not alone. <br />Jeannie, you're right that some people are just not open to new experiences. If we were close, maybe he would make the trip. His wife had never been out of Texas until she married him. Paulita https://www.blogger.com/profile/14237320966048538408noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-32469880.post-83488318483192676522017-06-06T08:31:51.437-04:002017-06-06T08:31:51.437-04:00You're right -- we're never ready to lose ...You're right -- we're never ready to lose our parents or siblings and unfinished business always leaves deep hurts in the soul. So many families are divided in so many ways -- you are not alone in those challenges. I'm glad you had a moment of being able to be together well, but boy, I sure do understand why those words hurt. Who wouldn't they hurt? Especially after you open your heart and ask/encourage him to visit. Personally, I think it's a little narrow to write off visiting a country simply because you don't like the government. I can't say I'm fond of Russia but if someone in my family moved there, I'd sure go visit and I'd probably have an amazing time lapping up the history and learning more about the people. <br /><br />Holding your heart close and hoping it will heal from this hurt.Jeaniehttps://www.blogger.com/profile/17482528482559445943noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-32469880.post-87911643188052260942017-06-06T03:32:16.691-04:002017-06-06T03:32:16.691-04:00Paulita, I ache for you. It's inevitable that ...Paulita, I ache for you. It's inevitable that in a family there will be some who are close and some who are not, but that doesn't make it easier. <br />My parents died three weeks apart, and in the time leading up to it, I became very, very close to my siblings. One had kind of gone his own way long ago, falling into drugs and alcohol. I think his problems were in part a reaction to my straight-A good-girl act, and we long acted as if we didn't know each other, but he eventually came around. The other two I'd talk to and email with often. <br />Sadly, since the election, we've fallen apart. The one with substance problems now claims he was abused (it was the opposite; he was the first boy and all his transgressions were waved away) and wants nothing to do with the rest of us. The youngest is very conservative and racist, sexist and homophobic in that wholesome John Wayne/Ponderosa/Father Knows Best way. It has always bugged me, but I set it aside because of how devoted he was to our parents, really waiting on them hand and foot, driving them everywhere, dealing with doctors and insurance. The other one was fairly liberal, but he shocked me by backing Trump and saying he was for deporting immigrants. We didn't speak for about six months after that. Even now, we rarely talk, and when we do, it's only pleasantries. It breaks my heart. Anonymousnoreply@blogger.com